How About Some Good News?

When I was single, it wasn't officially Christmas until I walked out the door on the last evening before my vacation began, often on Christmas Eve. Now, the last days of school before the Christmas holiday break send a much earlier signal that it's time to shut down. At my house, that is this week - I am officially in the holiday mindset!

This week I have really enjoyed being with my family and not thinking too much about world affairs. Hearing my daughter squeal with delight as we drove through "Santaland" in East Texas was a high point, even after waiting in a ridiculous car line for an hour. And the best experience of all was last night's preschool Christmas concert where I got to watch her belt out "Happy Birthday Jesus" like she was Beverly Sills. It just can't get any better! For me it was a few minutes of pure, uninterrupted joy, with no thoughts of the economy, "what-will-we-do-if," and did I do everything I needed to today, etc.

A fascinating article in last week's New York Times by Dr. Gregory Berns, a neuroeconomist, describes how fear can significantly impair decision-making in hard times. He states: "The most concrete thing that neuroscience tells us is that when the fear system of the brain is active, exploratory activity and risk-taking are turned off. The first order of business, then, is to neutralize that system.

This means not being a fearmonger. It means avoiding people who are overly pessimistic about the economy. It means tuning out media that fan emotional flames. Unless you are a day-trader, it means closing the Web page with the market ticker. It does mean being prepared, but not being a hypervigilant, everyone-in-the-bunker type."

I like Dr. Berns' idea of shutting off whatever feeds your fears. Last night at the "concert" I experienced that very thing. What will you do to shut out discouragement and make room for creative thought and positive decisions? What will you bring in that will encourage and inspire you?I for one will spend more time reading things that are purely entertaining, watching some fun movies and observing the world through the eyes of my daughter. I will make a concerted effort to be an encouragement to everyone I am around. And as part of that strategy I am making available my online coaching courses I've been telling you about. AND, since you have been so kind as to open and read my e-mail messages, Read more here: http://coachgwen.com/e-courses.htm

And if you think I'm nuts for offering this the week before Christmas, take heart. I think that there may be some of you who have vacation time in the next few weeks who might enjoy some time for self-reflection, goal-setting and action-planning. And maybe you would like an alternative to the same old list of New Year's resolutions. And maybe you have friends or family members who are at a crossroads and you will want to forward the information to them. Again, here is the link: http://coachgwen.com/e-courses.htm

I wish you the warmest, most joy-filled season ever! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Donna's Story

Donna hired me this past June to work through a much-needed career change. Over the years she had moved from a demanding career in the financial industry to working in a retail shop selling handmade products from third world countries, for a non-profit organization promoting fair trade and income for artisans in the developing world.

As we progressed through the career work, she also mentioned that it had been some time since her last romantic relationship and she was ready to begin dating again, so we added that focus into our work as well.

As you would imagine, jumping into both of these pursuits simultaneously could be overwhelming and at times for her it was. So we took one week at a time and focused only on specific actions steps in both areas. Donna had been very resistant in the past to online dating sites, but was cautiously interested in exploring that option. I suggested she begin by “dipping her toe in the water” and first visit several different sites to get a feel for what was out there. She did that and soon selected one that happened to be running a special on membership at that time. She still felt hesitant, so I suggested she just complete the profile and see what that felt like. She didn’t have to post it unless or until she felt right about doing it. The point was to take small, forward steps and trust what her instincts would tell her along the way.

We went through much the same process with her career search. We reviewed and updated her resume and cover letter I suggested she send them in response to any job she found remotely interesting. We also expanded her search to include additional online search sites that she had not tried before and networking more assertively with friends and colleagues, while further defining what she really wanted from her next career opportunity.

Fast forward to today, only a few months later, and she is in a promising relationship with an amazing guy (her words) with whom she has a lot in common, and just started a great new job doing and experiencing many of the things that were on her “what I require in my next career” lists that we had crafted.

The really neat thing is that Donna had been working toward all of these great things for a long time. And of course she could have done it all on her own, eventually. But in working with me, she allowed herself to be held accountable to deadlines, to get objective input and advice on strategies, and have old thoughts framed in new ways so that moving forward took a lot less time!

That is my greatest hope in working with clients. To help bring out the best of what you already possess, and to help you move forward to what it is you really, really want much faster than you would on your own.

Are you sitting right on the edge of making your move, poised to finally take off and still thinking, “I can do it on my own. It’s just a matter of self-discipline and giving it my full attention.” Has that worked well for you in the past? Will it happen now?

In a couple of days I’ll give you the link to my new “Life in Focus” and “Career in Focus” e-courses. They are ready. Stay tuned…

The Lizard of Oz and Getting What You Wish For

The Wizard of Oz was on television recently and my four-year-old said, “Mommy, I don’t like the witch in the 'Lizard' of Oz!” What I liked about the movie was that all of the main characters were searching for that one thing to make their life complete and just knew that the Wizard of Oz would magically give it to them. If you know the story, you know that when they get there it’s all smoke and mirrors (literally) and that they find out they already possess what they thought they were looking for all along.

Do you long to click your ruby slippers together and say “There’s no place like home,” and have everything go back to a simpler, more predictable time? There have certainly been days lately when I have felt that way!

I hope instead that this message finds you mostly unaffected by negative world news, and that any losses you have suffered are paper losses only. I hope you are enjoying good health and great relationships. I hope you’re in a career you love, in an industry you trust and that whatever may come you are certain of your identity and are living according to your values.
If you’re response to that is “Gwen, you’ve got to be kidding,” then take heart. Earlier this summer when financial tides in the world really began turning in earnest, I made it a personal goal to make coaching available to a much larger audience and to make it affordable while still offering a lot of the same quality information and strategies that I give to one-on-one clients. So I set about revising and improving my existing life coaching e-course, and also began writing from scratch a career coaching e-course.

Now, some months and a lot of extremely early morning and very late night writing sessions later, I’m nearly ready to launch both courses. You will be receiving a few more messages from me with more information and I wanted you to know in advance so you can be looking for them.

Until then, stay warm, enjoy the Christmas season (or whatever holidays you are celebrating) and hold on to the things that really matter.

What My Piano Teacher Taught Me

My high school piano teacher reminded me of Maude, the television character portrayed so well by actress Bea Arthur. Mrs. Price looked like her, talked like her and commanded the same amount of space in a room.

I was at the other end of the spectrum; a tall, skinny, reserved girl who never used bad language and always made decent grades in school.

When these two forces combined in piano lessons the results were memorable. One day I was playing an aggressive piece (Chopin, I believe) a little timidly for Mrs. Price. Her exact words to me were, “I want you to go home and beat the he** out of that piano this week!” Guess what? Once I got over the shock I did exactly that. It felt great, it was a life lesson I’ve never forgotten. Though I was shocked at the way she spoke to me, it was one of the first times I experienced someone telling me that I was good enough to be bold about it! I don’t go around beating the heck out of things, but I do try to live life proactively and not timidly.

This past Friday I received two similar e-mail messages at exactly the same time, telling me of jobs lost that day. One was from a client, the other from a friend. Both had gotten laid off that afternoon. Both had seen the writing on the wall but hoped the outcome would be different or at least delayed. Both were already taking steps toward new careers. I know it was still a blow, but each of them is being proactive and not waiting, letting self doubt take over and wishing things were better.

How many conversations have you had in recent weeks about government bailouts, stock market drops, unemployment, and “What are we going to do???” Are you experiencing timidity as you approach certain decisions or anticipate the unknown? What would it be like to instead face the fears, take reasonable steps to weather whatever storms are brewing, and come from a place of confidence?

I’ve been working on a couple of projects I’m going to tell you more about in coming days. For now though, I have written a report entitled “Twelve Ways to Stay Confident and Be Great During Challenging Times.” It is being offered to all new Momentum subscribers, and I certainly want current subscribers to have access to the same information. To download your free copy, go to www.coachgwen.com/_private/StayConfident0711.pdf . And feel free to forward it to friends and colleagues. I want to offer you encouragement to trust yourself and keep being your best regardless of the circumstances in which you may find yourself.

Always Have a Plan B

I hope that you are well and thriving during this approaching holiday season. During this time of gloomy news about the world economy, most of us can still be thankful that we have homes and cars and loved ones in our lives.

One thing I always encourage coaching clients to have is a Plan B, specifically when it comes to earning a living. And this applies whether you are in a career you love that pays well or you are in a situation where you are essentially starting over.

What exactly do I mean by Plan B? Simple. Plan B is what you will do if your first choice doesn’t work out. When I work with clients who are pursuing a career change, usually one or two choices will rise to the top. We work together to devise strategies to get them there and often it works out well for them. However I still always tell them to have a Plan B because when you are making a career change there are a lot of circumstances that have to fall into place in your favor and you can only control how you present yourself; you cannot control the hiring decisions.

Who should have a Plan B? Everyone! In these uncertain times it may not matter that you are a business owner, CEO, or entry level employee. For many the vulnerability to job loss or pay cuts is high.

What is a Plan B? For you it may take varied forms. You may choose to do one or more of the following:

• Have your resume ready so it can be sent at a moment’s notice. If you haven’t updated it in a while, do it now!
• Look at your finances and have a plan for how you would pay the bills if a change occurred tomorrow. And know how long you can sustain your current lifestyle and/or what adjustments you would make if needed.
• Know what kind of job you would look for and where you would begin looking if you needed to.
• Know what the second choice job would be and where you would begin looking for it. I often tell clients in transition that in some cases it may be necessary to find a “bridge” job – something you can do right away to pay the bills and keep you marketable while working toward the one you really eventually want.
• Pay down debt as much as you can, particularly high interest credit card debt. The less you owe, the less vulnerable you will be.
• If you’re uncertain as to what you would do to earn income in an emergency, begin compiling a list of all of your marketable skills and start looking around for how you could apply them. Include anything you have done well in a volunteer capacity in addition to your paid work experience.

Everyone has talents that they haven’t used in a while that they forget about until they start taking a serious look. Point out these skills into your updated resume.

Some people may think spending time devising a Plan B is a negative use of energy. I prefer to look at it as realistic. We are facing some tough times ahead and it is never wrong to be overly prepared! And having a Plan B (and C and D!) will actually give you the freedom to stay positive and be confident. It helps you come from a position of choice versus neediness.

Not sure what your Plan B will be? I’d be happy to talk with you more about it. Contact me for a free sample session.

Momentum Newsletter, November 2008

It's Almost Ready!!

Ta Dah! Today I put the finishing touches on my Life in Focus and Career in Focus e-courses. The LIfe in Focus e-course is a rewrite of the previous "Life Upgrade" e-course. In this one I have improved the worksheets, added some material and revised the sequence of the lessons for better flow.

The Career in Focus course is brand new, written from scratch by yours truly. It has taken me years to collect this material and put it into practice with clients, then several months to write into a comprehensive e-course. I always thought this material would go into book form first, then follow with a companion e-course, but as I wrote and wrote it didn't make sense to me not to include the worksheets and offer coaching along with it.

So, stay tuned. All I have to do now is get them uploaded into a shopping cart and test, test, test to make sure it all works correctly and we are on! If you have thought about hiring a coach (me especially!) and have procrastinated either because of the cost or because of the time commitment of keeping session appointments, this is the second best alternative I can offer. And if you want to be one of the first to be notified when it becomes available (there will be a cost reduction for the first people to sign up) then send a blank e-mail to online_coachgwen@tx.rr.com. Don't worry, this won't add you to any other lists; you will only be notified about these courses when they are ready to order.

Am I Crazy, or just Convicted?

Today was a first for me. I actually sat down and drafted a letter to a celebrity who took a position on an issue with which I strongly disagree. I won't say what this issue is or name the celebrity, but it was important enough to me to express my view. And I will rewrite and rewrite it until I can only say what I would say to their face, in person. Then I will mail it via snail mail because I think it is more likely to be read that way.

Maybe it's the election, the economic crises or all of the above, but I am shocked at the strength of my own convictions lately. My values and beliefs haven't really changed, but the force behind them has. I seriously want to effect change and am not afraid to try.

So here is what I am going to do:

• I am going to write and speak personally when opportunities present; my voice is as credible as any Hollywood type who earns a living pretending to be someone he/she is not. (Fear not, I have no plans to turn this blog or any of my materials into personal platforms.)
• I am turning off the television. At my house we watch mostly educational preschool television anyway, which we will continue as long as it is productive. And I will still watch some HGTV and favorite news networks and my current closet favorite, "The Biggest Loser." Anything else just frustrates me.
• I will spend a lot more time reading things that inspire and motivate me.
• I will make it my personal goal to be an encourager to everyone with whom I come in contact.

The bottom line is, there isn't much point to having convictions if you're not going to exercise them and do so in a positive way.

The Most Important Skill for Your Success

A former co-worker of mine used to comment about certain people that “She/he has no edit function!” He was describing those people who would say or worse, write, every thought that occurred to them, usually in emotional response to something they heard or read.

What is your response when someone shares gossip with you about a friend or co-worker? Do you get excited and rush to share it with someone else, or do you stop and say, “Wait a minute. That doesn’t sound like Ed…” Or you receive a business letter on a topic that makes your blood boil. Do you fire off a letter in response that puts them in their place, or do you stop to examine what is really going on and identify the real issue that needs to be addressed?
Critical thinking, in my opinion, is probably the one outstanding skill that separates the highly successful from the not-so-successful. What does it mean to be a critical thinker? Attributes of critical thinking include:

· Immediately questioning all incoming information for accuracy. This takes place mostly internally. Critical thinkers have brain filters that quickly sort through truth and fiction.

· Thinking before speaking or writing. A critical thinker has the capacity to empathize with the person on the receiving end of conversation or e-mail messages and understand what may be effective and what is better left unsaid.

· Empathy. Critical thinkers are able to put themselves in another person’s shoes, so to speak. Even if you disagree with someone on an issue, you can look objectively at what life experiences they have had to cause them to have that opinion and see it from their side, whether or not you will ever agree. This gives you a basis for discussion rather than flame-throwing.

· Creativity. This doesn’t mean you’re artistic, but that you are able to generate new ideas on your own. Critical thinkers are able to look at things from a different angle or apply ideas in new ways.

· Recognizing when more information is needed. It is so easy to take partial information at face value. Critical thinkers have an instinct for knowing when there is more to the story.

· Critical thinkers are lifelong learners. They never cease to look for ways to improve things and always want to learn more about everything.

I challenge you to look at your own critical thinking skills and see how you can further develop them. One of the best ways to practice is to slow down your response to things for a while. If you’re always one of the first to respond in a conversation, wait a few moments and let someone else talk. See what you can learn from being quiet a little longer! It’s hard, but well worth it. And if you’re usually the one who sits back and later wishes you had said something, be the first to ask a clarifying question.

Here’s a great tool to stretch your critical thinking muscle: Every time you hear gossip or read a forwarded e-mail about someone or something that is “juicy,” resist the urge to pass it along. Instead, make a conscious effort to say out loud, “Is it likely that this is really true?” Then play reporter and do whatever research you can to verify what is fact. Then and only then can you critically evaluate whether it is beneficial to anyone to pass it along.

Critical thinking is one of the most useful skills you can possess in your family life, relationships or career. It is the skill that will keep you from saying things you later regret, making costly mistakes or hurting people unnecessarily. Practice!

How to Cast a Wide Net in Your Job Search

When clients are just beginning a job search, I frequently tell them to "cast a wide net." This actually has a double meaning. First, it means to use all of your available resources to get the word out that you are looking for new opportunities; including friends, current and former colleagues, family members, old college chums, people with whom you have volunteered for worthy causes, and anyone else who is appropriate. For some clients who are contemplating making a leap into a new, unrelated career, it also means devising different versions of your resume and circulating it to varying types of employers.

In these days of online job search sites and the overwhelming number of social and networking sites (LinkedIn, Twitter, FaceBook, MySpace, UTube, and the new Twitter of business networking, Twellow) I often get asked what works and what doesn't.

I have had clients get lots of interviews through online job search sites, some leading to employment. It is important to pick and choose which sites you use according to your career, as some are too generalized to find a place you can "fit." The big ones are great if you can easily fit into the common categories such as Accounting, Finance, Marketing, Law, etc. Often if you are a member of a professional association for whatever-you-do they will have a job search service in that field. Definitely pursue those avenues.

But beyond that, do you post a profile on all of the other networking sites and/or do you create a web site resume?

I will give my opinions in a minute, but here is a request: I am currently writing an online career coaching course and I would love to have lots of input on this topic. I have opinions but am open to having them changed. If you have recently undertaken a job search and have either created a resume web site or used networking sites, I would like to hear about your experience. Did it impact your job search either positively or negatively? What would you do the same next time and what would you change? Post your answers in the comments section at the end of this blog.

O.K., here are my opinions. First, the use of networking sites. I think they may be useful if you are in an industry that commonly uses them. Maybe. If your circle of colleagues are all on LinkedIn, then by all means add your profile. I have been on LinkedIn for a few years now and cannot attribute any new business to that, but certainly don't think it hurts and it doesn't cost anything! And I have heard that it can be very successful for those in closely connected professional communities.

I am not a fan of using social networking sites for a career search because my own feeling is that it instantly decreases the perceived level of professionalism. If I were a prospective employer and a candidate told me I could find their profile on FaceBook or My Space, I would hesitate and potentially not even look. I don't think that is a common practice, but if you're thinking about it I would encourage you to try a more mainstream approach first. I'm even hesitant about Twellow, the new "professional" version of Twitter. The site is organized by categories of professions which is nice, but when I have clicked on a category it takes me to a page where the profiles include a picture, one or two sentences of a professional profile, and (here's the downside) the latest comments posted to that profile which are almost always quippy comments from Twitter. So, my overall opinion is go ahead and put your profile on a professional networking site like LinkedIn or similar because it really can't hurt; avoid the social sites as you may appear unprofessional.

Next, do you create a resume web site? Again, it doesn't hurt. When you send a resume to an employer you can give them the link to your online resume instead of an attachment. Or if you are networking in your circle you can do the same thing and it may make it easier when networking in person to say, "If you would like to see my resume it is online at JohnSmith.com." There are some important rules to posting an HTML resume though; don't get carried away with the graphics (it should look like it would on white bond paper and be very organized and readable), use easy-to-read fonts, don't underline words because they will look like hyperlinks, and don't used patterned or colored backgrounds. Also, do keep a word processing file version regardless, because you will use it.

Again, if you have experience with using online networks in your job search or having a web resume, I would like to hear about it. Post those comments!

Tomorrow's Life-Changing Experience

No, I don't have anything big or dramatic planned for tomorrow. If I knew it wouldn't bore you to pieces, I would have titled this post "Yesterday was a life-changing experience, today is a life-changing experience, and tomorrow will also be a life-changing experience. What will you do to make it count?"

Recently I have heard the phrase "It was a life-changing experience" with unusual frequency. And it's true, we have all had those experiences that completely altered the way we looked at certain things forever. I can think of several right away: The first time I visited Italy; the day I got married; the days I found out each of my parents had terminal cancer; the day I gave birth to my daughter. All undeniably life-altering.

But life isn't static, even if you sometimes feel like you're living Groundhog Day (in case you didn't see the movie, it means living the same day over and over). I would argue that each and every day is life-changing, if only for the simple fact that you are one day older and one more day is behind you. Changes like that are almost imperceptible, yet stack them up into years and you begin questioning "How did I get from there to here?"

A really neat thing I get to experience with clients is to see this principle begin producing positive results almost immediately. Often clients initially contact me because they feel stuck. They have some great goals and dreams, but don't feel any closer to making them happen. One reason for feeling stuck is that we sometimes view our life as one big unit rather than lots and lots and lots of choices, days, and events. And if our life unit is currently unfulfilling, it is easy to get overwhelmed by trying to fix the whole thing at once. Part of coaching is to break the dreams down into achievable pieces each week and move forward so that you get unstuck and on your way. This often begins to happen fairly quickly, in a matter of days or weeks.

My encouragement to you is to stop waiting for life-changing experiences and start viewing each day as a life-changing event. What will you become today? Whose life will you change by walking through? What single choice or decision can you make today that puts you one step further to becoming what you want to become?

If you're feeling stuck and having trouble finding the steps out and up, please call me. We can begin making each day a life-bettering experience for you.

Why Do You Put Up with Stuff?

Once a week I sort through the spam that has been filtered through my web e-mail server. It’s a nuisance, but for every 50 or so spam messages, there will be one legitimate business inquiry that gets filtered for one reason or another that I don’t want to overlook. So I slog through the rude and the ridiculous (put up with it, in other words) to make sure I don’t miss the pearl opportunity that got buried in the mess.

Often when clients begin working with me as their coach, they get a little frustrated after the first couple of sessions because we haven’t yet made the big breakthrough for which they had hoped. Instead, we may still be sorting through a lot of background information, collecting pieces of the puzzle before seeing a bigger picture. Then, sooner for some than for others, things start clicking and the “ah-hah’s” start coming to them.

The point is, it is rare that you discover great things without sorting through some junk. My job is to help you sort through it more quickly and with more precision than you would on your own. If your life isn’t quite what you want right now, or your career isn’t providing the income or the fulfillment that you wanted, maybe it’s time to sort through some stuff and figure out why you’re putting up with what you don’t want and see what positive steps you can take today to begin making it much, much better.

What are some of the things worth taking a look at in your life?

· Your environment. Is it peaceful and useful, or is it cluttered and distracting?
· Your family. Is the time you spend with family members pleasant and refreshing, or tense and draining?
· Your friends. Is there a mutual support system there, or is one of you getting most of the benefit from the relationship?
· Your finances. Times are getting challenging – are you prepared? Are there habits you need to change?
· Your physical health. Do you take care of yourself; get plenty of rest, exercise, nutrition?
· Your real needs and priorities. Do you multi-task all the time, never really finishing anything or are you able to live in and enjoy the present?

If you answered these questions negatively or maybe even laughed when looking at the list, how about trying a different approach? I invite you to look at my Life Upgrade e-course which looks very closely at these issues and several more and provides exercises to help you sort through the junk and devise more effective ways of living. Better yet, stop thinking about how to make your life better and start making it better. Call me or drop me a note and let’s set up a complimentary phone consultation to see what you can do, right away!

Recession-Proof Your Attitude

It’s an election year in the states and the economy is questionable, at best. Politicians are presenting bleak pictures or rosy ones, depending on what best serves their goals. Realistically though, the only outlook over which you have any control is your own.

I’ve talked with individuals living in abundance who are worried about losing their wealth, and others in scarcity who choose simply not to worry about it. Which of those is the safer attitude? Tough call, but here are some suggestions for keeping mental balance during economic uncertainty:

· Pay extra attention to your community of support. Give extra care to all important relationships as this will be what sustains you through uneven times. If there are family members or friends with whom you have lost touch, reconnect. They may need you! And if you find yourself ousted out of a once-promising career, this is the first and best place to seek support and connection.

· Adjust your lifestyle for a while. Give up unnecessary luxuries and pay attention to the things you miss and the things you don’t. You will probably find that your life doesn’t change much without certain trappings of wealth.

· If you feel uncertain about the security of your current job, get busy now on your Plan B. If you were to lose your job today, do you have a current resume? Do you know who you would call first to begin looking for a new one? Do you have money tucked away to bridge the gap? Get all of these things into place as if you needed them today, and you will be much better prepared should that dreaded day come.

· If you’re in a difficult career situation but can’t afford to make a change right now, make it better. Find a better way to communicate with a difficult boss; look at how you can make a tough schedule easier; make adjustments in your personal time to better care for yourself so that work doesn’t drain you; create a plan for the future so that you feel that you’re working toward something more fulfilling.

· Just be great, no matter what the circumstances. If you’re the one who remains positive, you will attract a lot more positive people and events into your life.

· Spend a lot more time with people whose company you enjoy. This isn’t the time to be around doomsday thinkers – they can bring you down very quickly. If you’re going to be positive through challenging times, then you want to be around others who maintain the same attitude.

· Reflect on your core values and prioritize accordingly. When you sift down to what really matters and spend your time and energy there, stressful thoughts and circumstances have a way of diminishing. It might even help to make a list of your most important spiritual, emotional, mental and physical values and place it where you will see it often.

Let’s face it – life has ups and downs and you have to adjust or go crazy! But the most successful adjustments are the ones that you can make in your mind. Then positive actions and good things can follow.

Ten Reasons Not to Quit Your Career Yet

You’ve been thinking about making a career move but keep wondering if it’s the right time, the right decision, the right direction. There are often many valid, wise decisions for taking a risk to gain something better. There are also reasons that it might be a bad choice, at least at the present moment. Here are ten reasons NOT to make that move right now:

1. You can’t financially afford it. No matter what move you’re considering, it won’t work if you can’t pay the bills. It’s much wiser to a) have at least six months to a year’s worth of income tucked away before making any big moves and b) make a move to something that will pay at least as much as you currently make or more!

2. You’re frustrated by a situation at work and just want out! This can be a very good reason for changing your job or career, but often isn’t reason enough. First, look at your current job overall. Do you like the company? The culture? Is the industry doing well right now? Does your future there feel secure except for this one thing? If the answer to all of these questions is yes and there is really just one circumstance or person that is bugging you, then look at every possible way you could solve this issue. Can you make an attitude adjustment? Is there a conversation you’ve been avoiding that would address the issue? Can you make a change in your physical environment that would help? Problems can have a way of following you from position to position if you don’t address them effectively. Try solving them before bailing out.

3. You’re less than two years from becoming vested in your retirement fund (or other important benefit). If you have worked hard for long-term benefits, don’t throw them away at this point. I once had a client who was a university faculty member, and though she was extremely frustrated with academia, if she stayed a few more years she would then receive life-long health care insurance. Instead of sacrificing security, bide your time and use this opportunity to formulate plans for your next move while still being paid!

4. There is something else in your life that you’re not dealing with. Often when things aren’t going the way you would like, your job seems like the easiest thing to change. While that may be true, you may just find yourself in a new job with the same old problems. If things in your personal life aren’t going well and it isn’t at all because of your current employment situation it is better to deal with what is really going on than to disrupt your work life.

5. You don’t have a stable work history. Granted, there are industries and careers where frequent change for advancement is not unusual. However, if you have a history of frequent job changes, think twice. A CEO client I know once referred to the “two year resume” which he immediately discarded from the potential candidates stack because of perceived instability. Unless you have been offered an opportunity that is too good to turn down, stay where you are and build credibility.

6. Changing just because you are “bored.” If you have felt restless and unmotivated for a long time and have exhausted every way to turn this around, then change is due. But if this is something relatively new and there is opportunity to improve your situation where you are, try that first. Boredom tends to be a personality trait and if you are someone who easily becomes bored, it is important to identify what you need from a career to prevent boredom before launching into a new one or you will find yourself in the same situation all over again.

7. You don’t have a plan. Giving up a career that pays and sustains you without having a new plan will rarely have a positive result. If you have invested time, education and sweat equity into your current career and now want to make a sweeping change, that is o.k., but don’t act impulsively. Make a plan and be sure that every step you take moves you forward within that plan.

8. Your move will adversely affect those whom you support. If you are the primary breadwinner in your household, the financial implications of a career change are obviously critical. It goes with reason number one. What about the emotional impact of a big change? Will it require a geographic move and will it be positive? Will there be financial adjustments that affect everyone? If your move requires great sacrifices on the part of other members of the household, be sure that the long-term benefit will outweigh the temporary discomfort. If not, then don’t make the move right now.

9. You don’t yet possess the skills or education to pursue your dream. This one seems fairly obvious, yet we have all seen people give up everything to pursue a dream for which they really aren’t well qualified. If further education or experience are necessary and you are set on a particular dream, then stay where you are and get the education on your own time. To get experience you can moonlight or volunteer for a related project. You don’t have to give up the dream, but you may need to postpone it while you gather the tools.

10. You’re in a career that doesn’t allow you to return once you make your exit. There are many careers (healthcare, law, education, technology) that require continuing education throughout the duration of your career. If you quit even temporarily it may be next to impossible to return to the field if you haven’t kept up with industry developments. If you’re not crystal clear about whether or not you want may want to return to this career one day, give it some more time. Find a way to evaluate other options while you stay involved in this career – work with a coach, reduce your current workload to part-time, volunteer in areas related to your other interests, get another job and moonlight in this field. Do what it takes to make this decision from an informed perspective.

There are often compelling reasons to make a big career change, or even make a lateral move within your current career. But there may also be strong reasons why it may not be right for you right now. If this isn’t the right time for you, continue where you are and use personal time to build toward a great move in the future. Just do what is necessary to keep moving forward in a positive way.

Accept, Adjust and Get On With It!

Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment. -- Ralph Marston

It's finally here. The fourth week of January. We can stop talking and hearing about resolutions, the crowds at the gym begin tapering off, and the weight loss segments on the news are finally over. Another week or so and the HUGE SALE ENDS NOW junk e-mail will come to an end as well! What a great time to return to accepting ourselves as we are.

That's right. If you made resolutions that have already fizzled, here's a new idea. How about accepting that what is, is. Your career isn't what or where you had hoped it would be right now. The economy is taking some heavy hits of late. You weigh a little extra or aren't as fit as you would like. Your family is in more turmoil than you ever dreamed possible. You don't have a lot of energy. O.K., so then what?

As a coach, one thing I encourage clients to do is to look truthfully at their current situation. Most of the time when clients call me it is because they have exhausted themselves with mental gymnastics, looking at what they "should" do, trying to reconcile what they want to do with what they are currently doing, or wishing for something that they can't yet articulate. By the time they call me, they are often self-critical for not having made more progress on their own.

One of the most liberating first steps in the process of moving forward in a positive way is to accept what is going on right now. You may long for a more fulfilling career, but haven't found the energy to pursue it or don't have the finances to make a leap. What if you just accepted the fact that maybe now isn't the right time. Period. How would that feel? Would it be a relief to stop worrying for a period of time, until you're in a better position to strategize and act? And at the same time, by accepting what is, you can make adjustments to make it better.

Acceptance keeps you in the present. And when you're living in the present, you're much more likely to make better decisions for your future. If you don't accept your circumstances and see them truthfully, then you're less likely to improve the situation. If you do accept what is, you can look at it objectively and sort out what is working and what isn't.

Let's say you've gotten really out of shape in the last two years. Before you storm around, complain about it and swear that you're going to start working out six days a week, eat less and cut out caffiene cold turkey, look at what is going on now. Maybe you've gotten out of shape because you work 80+ hours a week, have a family who needs you as soon as you get home, travel constantly, and/or volunteer for a worthwhile cause near and dear to your heart. Maybe this would be a good time to simply accept that none of that will change any time soon, so your good intentions truthfully are not going to happen. It would be easier to accept that being body-builder fit would require full-time discipline and devotion, neither of which you can give. By accepting your body as it is and accepting your schedule limitations, you can instead decide what improvements you could realistically incorporate into your daily life right now that would improve your fitness and energy levels, which is all you really wanted in the first place.

By not accepting what is, you deny yourself the opportunity to make real, manageable improvements in your life right now. It is far better to accept what is, make realistic adjustments, and get on with a better life now than wait and wish for something in the distant future, don't you think?

If mental gymnastics are weighing you down and you can't seem to get on with it, I invite you to contact me for a free consultation. I'd like to help you get unstuck!