Accept, Adjust and Get On With It!

Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment. -- Ralph Marston

It's finally here. The fourth week of January. We can stop talking and hearing about resolutions, the crowds at the gym begin tapering off, and the weight loss segments on the news are finally over. Another week or so and the HUGE SALE ENDS NOW junk e-mail will come to an end as well! What a great time to return to accepting ourselves as we are.

That's right. If you made resolutions that have already fizzled, here's a new idea. How about accepting that what is, is. Your career isn't what or where you had hoped it would be right now. The economy is taking some heavy hits of late. You weigh a little extra or aren't as fit as you would like. Your family is in more turmoil than you ever dreamed possible. You don't have a lot of energy. O.K., so then what?

As a coach, one thing I encourage clients to do is to look truthfully at their current situation. Most of the time when clients call me it is because they have exhausted themselves with mental gymnastics, looking at what they "should" do, trying to reconcile what they want to do with what they are currently doing, or wishing for something that they can't yet articulate. By the time they call me, they are often self-critical for not having made more progress on their own.

One of the most liberating first steps in the process of moving forward in a positive way is to accept what is going on right now. You may long for a more fulfilling career, but haven't found the energy to pursue it or don't have the finances to make a leap. What if you just accepted the fact that maybe now isn't the right time. Period. How would that feel? Would it be a relief to stop worrying for a period of time, until you're in a better position to strategize and act? And at the same time, by accepting what is, you can make adjustments to make it better.

Acceptance keeps you in the present. And when you're living in the present, you're much more likely to make better decisions for your future. If you don't accept your circumstances and see them truthfully, then you're less likely to improve the situation. If you do accept what is, you can look at it objectively and sort out what is working and what isn't.

Let's say you've gotten really out of shape in the last two years. Before you storm around, complain about it and swear that you're going to start working out six days a week, eat less and cut out caffiene cold turkey, look at what is going on now. Maybe you've gotten out of shape because you work 80+ hours a week, have a family who needs you as soon as you get home, travel constantly, and/or volunteer for a worthwhile cause near and dear to your heart. Maybe this would be a good time to simply accept that none of that will change any time soon, so your good intentions truthfully are not going to happen. It would be easier to accept that being body-builder fit would require full-time discipline and devotion, neither of which you can give. By accepting your body as it is and accepting your schedule limitations, you can instead decide what improvements you could realistically incorporate into your daily life right now that would improve your fitness and energy levels, which is all you really wanted in the first place.

By not accepting what is, you deny yourself the opportunity to make real, manageable improvements in your life right now. It is far better to accept what is, make realistic adjustments, and get on with a better life now than wait and wish for something in the distant future, don't you think?

If mental gymnastics are weighing you down and you can't seem to get on with it, I invite you to contact me for a free consultation. I'd like to help you get unstuck!