Though I no longer make New Year's resolutions, I usually get a burst of energy following the Christmas holidays when I put away the tree and all the decorations. After looking at all of the new "stuff" that was brought in for Christmas, I looked around and had this sense that if our house didn't explode, I might! So I began plowing into reorganization of everything in my home and office that wasn't serving me.
If you read my e-book, "The Realist's Guide to Dealing With Clutter, Once and For All," you'll know I don't subscribe to the notion that I can overcome my tendency to clutter. Ever. Instead, when I see a problem area in my physical environment, I think about how I want that space to function versus what is happening now.
Here's an example. Yesterday I looked at the row of phone books in my kitchen windowseat that is always sliding away from itself and which is viewable from the street (never mind that it has been that way for three years!). We live in a suburb of a large metro area so we have our city book, one for the county, one for the large city nearby, the at&t version, the Verizon version, etc. etc. I decided I couldn't take it any more! I do need the phone books in that location because even though I rarely use them, I do still consult them on occasion when I just want to find the number for a local business and don't want to sit down to conduct an internet search.
So, the answer to my own question, "How do I need this space to function?" was that I needed the phone books to stay in the same spot near the phone, but I would like for them to remain upright when I remove one and I would like for them not to be visible from the street! The solution? I measure exactly how wide and deep the space is that holds the books and bought an attractive basket that holds them all neatly and out of the way.
So what, you may ask. Why is this blog-worthy? Because sometimes the most annoying clutter problems are solved so easily, yet they tend the ones we put off because they aren't as big as some of the others. Lining up phone books doesn't seem as important as cleaning out the entire storage closet or painting the bathroom. And because those projects are so intimidating and we can't block off the two full days we think we need to complete them, we don't handle any of it!
So, my encouragement to you today is to tackle one or two small but persistent annoyances in your environment. Change a light bulb that is burned out, dust a windowsill, clean out a drawer. Not only is it pretty quick and easy, it's way more rewarding than you expect! Had I known how thrilled I would be to no longer see that mess of leaning phonebooks I would have handled it three years ago!
January 06, 2009
December 18, 2008
How About Some Good News?
When I was single, it wasn't officially Christmas until I walked out the door on the last evening before my vacation began, often on Christmas Eve. Now, the last days of school before the Christmas holiday break send a much earlier signal that it's time to shut down. At my house, that is this week - I am officially in the holiday mindset!
This week I have really enjoyed being with my family and not thinking too much about world affairs. Hearing my daughter squeal with delight as we drove through "Santaland" in East Texas was a high point, even after waiting in a ridiculous car line for an hour. And the best experience of all was last night's preschool Christmas concert where I got to watch her belt out "Happy Birthday Jesus" like she was Beverly Sills. It just can't get any better! For me it was a few minutes of pure, uninterrupted joy, with no thoughts of the economy, "what-will-we-do-if," and did I do everything I needed to today, etc.
A fascinating article in last week's New York Times by Dr. Gregory Berns, a neuroeconomist, describes how fear can significantly impair decision-making in hard times. He states: "The most concrete thing that neuroscience tells us is that when the fear system of the brain is active, exploratory activity and risk-taking are turned off. The first order of business, then, is to neutralize that system.
This means not being a fearmonger. It means avoiding people who are overly pessimistic about the economy. It means tuning out media that fan emotional flames. Unless you are a day-trader, it means closing the Web page with the market ticker. It does mean being prepared, but not being a hypervigilant, everyone-in-the-bunker type."
I like Dr. Berns' idea of shutting off whatever feeds your fears. Last night at the "concert" I experienced that very thing. What will you do to shut out discouragement and make room for creative thought and positive decisions? What will you bring in that will encourage and inspire you?I for one will spend more time reading things that are purely entertaining, watching some fun movies and observing the world through the eyes of my daughter. I will make a concerted effort to be an encouragement to everyone I am around. And as part of that strategy I am making available my online coaching courses I've been telling you about. AND, since you have been so kind as to open and read my e-mail messages, Read more here: http://coachgwen.com/e-courses.htm
And if you think I'm nuts for offering this the week before Christmas, take heart. I think that there may be some of you who have vacation time in the next few weeks who might enjoy some time for self-reflection, goal-setting and action-planning. And maybe you would like an alternative to the same old list of New Year's resolutions. And maybe you have friends or family members who are at a crossroads and you will want to forward the information to them. Again, here is the link: http://coachgwen.com/e-courses.htm
I wish you the warmest, most joy-filled season ever! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
This week I have really enjoyed being with my family and not thinking too much about world affairs. Hearing my daughter squeal with delight as we drove through "Santaland" in East Texas was a high point, even after waiting in a ridiculous car line for an hour. And the best experience of all was last night's preschool Christmas concert where I got to watch her belt out "Happy Birthday Jesus" like she was Beverly Sills. It just can't get any better! For me it was a few minutes of pure, uninterrupted joy, with no thoughts of the economy, "what-will-we-do-if," and did I do everything I needed to today, etc.
A fascinating article in last week's New York Times by Dr. Gregory Berns, a neuroeconomist, describes how fear can significantly impair decision-making in hard times. He states: "The most concrete thing that neuroscience tells us is that when the fear system of the brain is active, exploratory activity and risk-taking are turned off. The first order of business, then, is to neutralize that system.
This means not being a fearmonger. It means avoiding people who are overly pessimistic about the economy. It means tuning out media that fan emotional flames. Unless you are a day-trader, it means closing the Web page with the market ticker. It does mean being prepared, but not being a hypervigilant, everyone-in-the-bunker type."
I like Dr. Berns' idea of shutting off whatever feeds your fears. Last night at the "concert" I experienced that very thing. What will you do to shut out discouragement and make room for creative thought and positive decisions? What will you bring in that will encourage and inspire you?I for one will spend more time reading things that are purely entertaining, watching some fun movies and observing the world through the eyes of my daughter. I will make a concerted effort to be an encouragement to everyone I am around. And as part of that strategy I am making available my online coaching courses I've been telling you about. AND, since you have been so kind as to open and read my e-mail messages, Read more here: http://coachgwen.com/e-courses.htm
And if you think I'm nuts for offering this the week before Christmas, take heart. I think that there may be some of you who have vacation time in the next few weeks who might enjoy some time for self-reflection, goal-setting and action-planning. And maybe you would like an alternative to the same old list of New Year's resolutions. And maybe you have friends or family members who are at a crossroads and you will want to forward the information to them. Again, here is the link: http://coachgwen.com/e-courses.htm
I wish you the warmest, most joy-filled season ever! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
December 15, 2008
Donna's Story
Donna hired me this past June to work through a much-needed career change. Over the years she had moved from a demanding career in the financial industry to working in a retail shop selling handmade products from third world countries, for a non-profit organization promoting fair trade and income for artisans in the developing world.
As we progressed through the career work, she also mentioned that it had been some time since her last romantic relationship and she was ready to begin dating again, so we added that focus into our work as well.
As you would imagine, jumping into both of these pursuits simultaneously could be overwhelming and at times for her it was. So we took one week at a time and focused only on specific actions steps in both areas. Donna had been very resistant in the past to online dating sites, but was cautiously interested in exploring that option. I suggested she begin by “dipping her toe in the water” and first visit several different sites to get a feel for what was out there. She did that and soon selected one that happened to be running a special on membership at that time. She still felt hesitant, so I suggested she just complete the profile and see what that felt like. She didn’t have to post it unless or until she felt right about doing it. The point was to take small, forward steps and trust what her instincts would tell her along the way.
We went through much the same process with her career search. We reviewed and updated her resume and cover letter I suggested she send them in response to any job she found remotely interesting. We also expanded her search to include additional online search sites that she had not tried before and networking more assertively with friends and colleagues, while further defining what she really wanted from her next career opportunity.
Fast forward to today, only a few months later, and she is in a promising relationship with an amazing guy (her words) with whom she has a lot in common, and just started a great new job doing and experiencing many of the things that were on her “what I require in my next career” lists that we had crafted.
The really neat thing is that Donna had been working toward all of these great things for a long time. And of course she could have done it all on her own, eventually. But in working with me, she allowed herself to be held accountable to deadlines, to get objective input and advice on strategies, and have old thoughts framed in new ways so that moving forward took a lot less time!
That is my greatest hope in working with clients. To help bring out the best of what you already possess, and to help you move forward to what it is you really, really want much faster than you would on your own.
Are you sitting right on the edge of making your move, poised to finally take off and still thinking, “I can do it on my own. It’s just a matter of self-discipline and giving it my full attention.” Has that worked well for you in the past? Will it happen now?
In a couple of days I’ll give you the link to my new “Life in Focus” and “Career in Focus” e-courses. They are ready. Stay tuned…
As we progressed through the career work, she also mentioned that it had been some time since her last romantic relationship and she was ready to begin dating again, so we added that focus into our work as well.
As you would imagine, jumping into both of these pursuits simultaneously could be overwhelming and at times for her it was. So we took one week at a time and focused only on specific actions steps in both areas. Donna had been very resistant in the past to online dating sites, but was cautiously interested in exploring that option. I suggested she begin by “dipping her toe in the water” and first visit several different sites to get a feel for what was out there. She did that and soon selected one that happened to be running a special on membership at that time. She still felt hesitant, so I suggested she just complete the profile and see what that felt like. She didn’t have to post it unless or until she felt right about doing it. The point was to take small, forward steps and trust what her instincts would tell her along the way.
We went through much the same process with her career search. We reviewed and updated her resume and cover letter I suggested she send them in response to any job she found remotely interesting. We also expanded her search to include additional online search sites that she had not tried before and networking more assertively with friends and colleagues, while further defining what she really wanted from her next career opportunity.
Fast forward to today, only a few months later, and she is in a promising relationship with an amazing guy (her words) with whom she has a lot in common, and just started a great new job doing and experiencing many of the things that were on her “what I require in my next career” lists that we had crafted.
The really neat thing is that Donna had been working toward all of these great things for a long time. And of course she could have done it all on her own, eventually. But in working with me, she allowed herself to be held accountable to deadlines, to get objective input and advice on strategies, and have old thoughts framed in new ways so that moving forward took a lot less time!
That is my greatest hope in working with clients. To help bring out the best of what you already possess, and to help you move forward to what it is you really, really want much faster than you would on your own.
Are you sitting right on the edge of making your move, poised to finally take off and still thinking, “I can do it on my own. It’s just a matter of self-discipline and giving it my full attention.” Has that worked well for you in the past? Will it happen now?
In a couple of days I’ll give you the link to my new “Life in Focus” and “Career in Focus” e-courses. They are ready. Stay tuned…
December 13, 2008
The Lizard of Oz and Getting What You Wish For
The Wizard of Oz was on television recently and my four-year-old said, “Mommy, I don’t like the witch in the 'Lizard' of Oz!” What I liked about the movie was that all of the main characters were searching for that one thing to make their life complete and just knew that the Wizard of Oz would magically give it to them. If you know the story, you know that when they get there it’s all smoke and mirrors (literally) and that they find out they already possess what they thought they were looking for all along.
Do you long to click your ruby slippers together and say “There’s no place like home,” and have everything go back to a simpler, more predictable time? There have certainly been days lately when I have felt that way!
I hope instead that this message finds you mostly unaffected by negative world news, and that any losses you have suffered are paper losses only. I hope you are enjoying good health and great relationships. I hope you’re in a career you love, in an industry you trust and that whatever may come you are certain of your identity and are living according to your values.
If you’re response to that is “Gwen, you’ve got to be kidding,” then take heart. Earlier this summer when financial tides in the world really began turning in earnest, I made it a personal goal to make coaching available to a much larger audience and to make it affordable while still offering a lot of the same quality information and strategies that I give to one-on-one clients. So I set about revising and improving my existing life coaching e-course, and also began writing from scratch a career coaching e-course.
Now, some months and a lot of extremely early morning and very late night writing sessions later, I’m nearly ready to launch both courses. You will be receiving a few more messages from me with more information and I wanted you to know in advance so you can be looking for them.
Until then, stay warm, enjoy the Christmas season (or whatever holidays you are celebrating) and hold on to the things that really matter.
December 08, 2008
What My Piano Teacher Taught Me
My high school piano teacher reminded me of Maude, the television character portrayed so well by actress Bea Arthur. Mrs. Price looked like her, talked like her and commanded the same amount of space in a room.
I was at the other end of the spectrum; a tall, skinny, reserved girl who never used bad language and always made decent grades in school.
When these two forces combined in piano lessons the results were memorable. One day I was playing an aggressive piece (Chopin, I believe) a little timidly for Mrs. Price. Her exact words to me were, “I want you to go home and beat the he** out of that piano this week!” Guess what? Once I got over the shock I did exactly that. It felt great, it was a life lesson I’ve never forgotten. Though I was shocked at the way she spoke to me, it was one of the first times I experienced someone telling me that I was good enough to be bold about it! I don’t go around beating the heck out of things, but I do try to live life proactively and not timidly.
This past Friday I received two similar e-mail messages at exactly the same time, telling me of jobs lost that day. One was from a client, the other from a friend. Both had gotten laid off that afternoon. Both had seen the writing on the wall but hoped the outcome would be different or at least delayed. Both were already taking steps toward new careers. I know it was still a blow, but each of them is being proactive and not waiting, letting self doubt take over and wishing things were better.
How many conversations have you had in recent weeks about government bailouts, stock market drops, unemployment, and “What are we going to do???” Are you experiencing timidity as you approach certain decisions or anticipate the unknown? What would it be like to instead face the fears, take reasonable steps to weather whatever storms are brewing, and come from a place of confidence?
I’ve been working on a couple of projects I’m going to tell you more about in coming days. For now though, I have written a report entitled “Twelve Ways to Stay Confident and Be Great During Challenging Times.” It is being offered to all new Momentum subscribers, and I certainly want current subscribers to have access to the same information. To download your free copy, go to www.coachgwen.com/_private/StayConfident0711.pdf . And feel free to forward it to friends and colleagues. I want to offer you encouragement to trust yourself and keep being your best regardless of the circumstances in which you may find yourself.
I was at the other end of the spectrum; a tall, skinny, reserved girl who never used bad language and always made decent grades in school.
When these two forces combined in piano lessons the results were memorable. One day I was playing an aggressive piece (Chopin, I believe) a little timidly for Mrs. Price. Her exact words to me were, “I want you to go home and beat the he** out of that piano this week!” Guess what? Once I got over the shock I did exactly that. It felt great, it was a life lesson I’ve never forgotten. Though I was shocked at the way she spoke to me, it was one of the first times I experienced someone telling me that I was good enough to be bold about it! I don’t go around beating the heck out of things, but I do try to live life proactively and not timidly.
This past Friday I received two similar e-mail messages at exactly the same time, telling me of jobs lost that day. One was from a client, the other from a friend. Both had gotten laid off that afternoon. Both had seen the writing on the wall but hoped the outcome would be different or at least delayed. Both were already taking steps toward new careers. I know it was still a blow, but each of them is being proactive and not waiting, letting self doubt take over and wishing things were better.
How many conversations have you had in recent weeks about government bailouts, stock market drops, unemployment, and “What are we going to do???” Are you experiencing timidity as you approach certain decisions or anticipate the unknown? What would it be like to instead face the fears, take reasonable steps to weather whatever storms are brewing, and come from a place of confidence?
I’ve been working on a couple of projects I’m going to tell you more about in coming days. For now though, I have written a report entitled “Twelve Ways to Stay Confident and Be Great During Challenging Times.” It is being offered to all new Momentum subscribers, and I certainly want current subscribers to have access to the same information. To download your free copy, go to www.coachgwen.com/_private/StayConfident0711.pdf . And feel free to forward it to friends and colleagues. I want to offer you encouragement to trust yourself and keep being your best regardless of the circumstances in which you may find yourself.
November 10, 2008
Always Have a Plan B
I hope that you are well and thriving during this approaching holiday season. During this time of gloomy news about the world economy, most of us can still be thankful that we have homes and cars and loved ones in our lives.
One thing I always encourage coaching clients to have is a Plan B, specifically when it comes to earning a living. And this applies whether you are in a career you love that pays well or you are in a situation where you are essentially starting over.
What exactly do I mean by Plan B? Simple. Plan B is what you will do if your first choice doesn’t work out. When I work with clients who are pursuing a career change, usually one or two choices will rise to the top. We work together to devise strategies to get them there and often it works out well for them. However I still always tell them to have a Plan B because when you are making a career change there are a lot of circumstances that have to fall into place in your favor and you can only control how you present yourself; you cannot control the hiring decisions.
Who should have a Plan B? Everyone! In these uncertain times it may not matter that you are a business owner, CEO, or entry level employee. For many the vulnerability to job loss or pay cuts is high.
What is a Plan B? For you it may take varied forms. You may choose to do one or more of the following:
Not sure what your Plan B will be? I’d be happy to talk with you more about it. Contact me for a free sample session.
Momentum Newsletter, November 2008
One thing I always encourage coaching clients to have is a Plan B, specifically when it comes to earning a living. And this applies whether you are in a career you love that pays well or you are in a situation where you are essentially starting over.
What exactly do I mean by Plan B? Simple. Plan B is what you will do if your first choice doesn’t work out. When I work with clients who are pursuing a career change, usually one or two choices will rise to the top. We work together to devise strategies to get them there and often it works out well for them. However I still always tell them to have a Plan B because when you are making a career change there are a lot of circumstances that have to fall into place in your favor and you can only control how you present yourself; you cannot control the hiring decisions.
Who should have a Plan B? Everyone! In these uncertain times it may not matter that you are a business owner, CEO, or entry level employee. For many the vulnerability to job loss or pay cuts is high.
What is a Plan B? For you it may take varied forms. You may choose to do one or more of the following:
- Have your resume ready so it can be sent at a moment’s notice. If you haven’t updated it in a while, do it now!
- Look at your finances and have a plan for how you would pay the bills if a change occurred tomorrow. And know how long you can sustain your current lifestyle and/or what adjustments you would make if needed.
- Know what kind of job you would look for and where you would begin looking if you needed to.
- Know what the second choice job would be and where you would begin looking for it. I often tell clients in transition that in some cases it may be necessary to find a “bridge” job – something you can do right away to pay the bills and keep you marketable while working toward the one you really eventually want.
- Pay down debt as much as you can, particularly high interest credit card debt. The less you owe, the less vulnerable you will be.
- If you’re uncertain as to what you would do to earn income in an emergency, begin compiling a list of all of your marketable skills and start looking around for how you could apply them. Include anything you have done well in a volunteer capacity in addition to your paid work experience.
Everyone has talents that they haven’t used in a while that they forget about until they start taking a serious look. Point out these skills into your updated resume.
Some people may think spending time devising a Plan B is a negative use of energy. I prefer to look at it as realistic. We are facing some tough times ahead and it is never wrong to be overly prepared! And having a Plan B (and C and D!) will actually give you the freedom to stay positive and be confident. It helps you come from a position of choice versus neediness.Not sure what your Plan B will be? I’d be happy to talk with you more about it. Contact me for a free sample session.
Momentum Newsletter, November 2008
October 31, 2008
It's Almost Ready!!
Ta Dah! Today I put the finishing touches on my Life in Focus and Career in Focus e-courses. The LIfe in Focus e-course is a rewrite of the previous "Life Upgrade" e-course. In this one I have improved the worksheets, added some material and revised the sequence of the lessons for better flow.
The Career in Focus course is brand new, written from scratch by yours truly. It has taken me years to collect this material and put it into practice with clients, then several months to write into a comprehensive e-course. I always thought this material would go into book form first, then follow with a companion e-course, but as I wrote and wrote it didn't make sense to me not to include the worksheets and offer coaching along with it.
So, stay tuned. All I have to do now is get them uploaded into a shopping cart and test, test, test to make sure it all works correctly and we are on! If you have thought about hiring a coach (me especially!) and have procrastinated either because of the cost or because of the time commitment of keeping session appointments, this is the second best alternative I can offer. And if you want to be one of the first to be notified when it becomes available (there will be a cost reduction for the first people to sign up) then send a blank e-mail to online_coachgwen@tx.rr.com. Don't worry, this won't add you to any other lists; you will only be notified about these courses when they are ready to order.
The Career in Focus course is brand new, written from scratch by yours truly. It has taken me years to collect this material and put it into practice with clients, then several months to write into a comprehensive e-course. I always thought this material would go into book form first, then follow with a companion e-course, but as I wrote and wrote it didn't make sense to me not to include the worksheets and offer coaching along with it.
So, stay tuned. All I have to do now is get them uploaded into a shopping cart and test, test, test to make sure it all works correctly and we are on! If you have thought about hiring a coach (me especially!) and have procrastinated either because of the cost or because of the time commitment of keeping session appointments, this is the second best alternative I can offer. And if you want to be one of the first to be notified when it becomes available (there will be a cost reduction for the first people to sign up) then send a blank e-mail to online_coachgwen@tx.rr.com. Don't worry, this won't add you to any other lists; you will only be notified about these courses when they are ready to order.
October 28, 2008
Am I Crazy, or just Convicted?
Today was a first for me. I actually sat down and drafted a letter to a celebrity who took a position on an issue with which I strongly disagree. I won't say what this issue is or name the celebrity, but it was important enough to me to express my view. And I will rewrite and rewrite it until I can only say what I would say to their face, in person. Then I will mail it via snail mail because I think it is more likely to be read that way.
Maybe it's the election, the economic crises or all of the above, but I am shocked at the strength of my own convictions lately. My values and beliefs haven't really changed, but the force behind them has. I seriously want to effect change and am not afraid to try.
So here is what I am going to do:
Maybe it's the election, the economic crises or all of the above, but I am shocked at the strength of my own convictions lately. My values and beliefs haven't really changed, but the force behind them has. I seriously want to effect change and am not afraid to try.
So here is what I am going to do:
- I am going to write and speak personally when opportunities present; my voice is as credible as any Hollywood type who earns a living pretending to be someone he/she is not. (Fear not, I have no plans to turn this blog or any of my materials into personal platforms.)
- I am turning off the television. At my house we watch mostly educational preschool television anyway, which we will continue as long as it is productive. And I will still watch some HGTV and favorite news networks and my current closet favorite, "The Biggest Loser." Anything else just frustrates me.
- I will spend a lot more time reading things that inspire and motivate me.
- I will make it my personal goal to be an encourager to everyone with whom I come in contact.
The bottom line is, there isn't much point to having convictions if you're not going to exercise them and do so in a positive way.
September 10, 2008
The Most Important Skill for Your Success
A former co-worker of mine used to comment about certain people that “She/he has no edit function!” He was describing those people who would say or worse, write, every thought that occurred to them, usually in emotional response to something they heard or read.
What is your response when someone shares gossip with you about a friend or co-worker? Do you get excited and rush to share it with someone else, or do you stop and say, “Wait a minute. That doesn’t sound like Ed…” Or you receive a business letter on a topic that makes your blood boil. Do you fire off a letter in response that puts them in their place, or do you stop to examine what is really going on and identify the real issue that needs to be addressed?
Critical thinking, in my opinion, is probably the one outstanding skill that separates the highly successful from the not-so-successful. What does it mean to be a critical thinker? Attributes of critical thinking include:
· Immediately questioning all incoming information for accuracy. This takes place mostly internally. Critical thinkers have brain filters that quickly sort through truth and fiction.
· Thinking before speaking or writing. A critical thinker has the capacity to empathize with the person on the receiving end of conversation or e-mail messages and understand what may be effective and what is better left unsaid.
· Empathy. Critical thinkers are able to put themselves in another person’s shoes, so to speak. Even if you disagree with someone on an issue, you can look objectively at what life experiences they have had to cause them to have that opinion and see it from their side, whether or not you will ever agree. This gives you a basis for discussion rather than flame-throwing.
· Creativity. This doesn’t mean you’re artistic, but that you are able to generate new ideas on your own. Critical thinkers are able to look at things from a different angle or apply ideas in new ways.
· Recognizing when more information is needed. It is so easy to take partial information at face value. Critical thinkers have an instinct for knowing when there is more to the story.
· Critical thinkers are lifelong learners. They never cease to look for ways to improve things and always want to learn more about everything.
I challenge you to look at your own critical thinking skills and see how you can further develop them. One of the best ways to practice is to slow down your response to things for a while. If you’re always one of the first to respond in a conversation, wait a few moments and let someone else talk. See what you can learn from being quiet a little longer! It’s hard, but well worth it. And if you’re usually the one who sits back and later wishes you had said something, be the first to ask a clarifying question.
Here’s a great tool to stretch your critical thinking muscle: Every time you hear gossip or read a forwarded e-mail about someone or something that is “juicy,” resist the urge to pass it along. Instead, make a conscious effort to say out loud, “Is it likely that this is really true?” Then play reporter and do whatever research you can to verify what is fact. Then and only then can you critically evaluate whether it is beneficial to anyone to pass it along.
Critical thinking is one of the most useful skills you can possess in your family life, relationships or career. It is the skill that will keep you from saying things you later regret, making costly mistakes or hurting people unnecessarily. Practice!
What is your response when someone shares gossip with you about a friend or co-worker? Do you get excited and rush to share it with someone else, or do you stop and say, “Wait a minute. That doesn’t sound like Ed…” Or you receive a business letter on a topic that makes your blood boil. Do you fire off a letter in response that puts them in their place, or do you stop to examine what is really going on and identify the real issue that needs to be addressed?
Critical thinking, in my opinion, is probably the one outstanding skill that separates the highly successful from the not-so-successful. What does it mean to be a critical thinker? Attributes of critical thinking include:
· Immediately questioning all incoming information for accuracy. This takes place mostly internally. Critical thinkers have brain filters that quickly sort through truth and fiction.
· Thinking before speaking or writing. A critical thinker has the capacity to empathize with the person on the receiving end of conversation or e-mail messages and understand what may be effective and what is better left unsaid.
· Empathy. Critical thinkers are able to put themselves in another person’s shoes, so to speak. Even if you disagree with someone on an issue, you can look objectively at what life experiences they have had to cause them to have that opinion and see it from their side, whether or not you will ever agree. This gives you a basis for discussion rather than flame-throwing.
· Creativity. This doesn’t mean you’re artistic, but that you are able to generate new ideas on your own. Critical thinkers are able to look at things from a different angle or apply ideas in new ways.
· Recognizing when more information is needed. It is so easy to take partial information at face value. Critical thinkers have an instinct for knowing when there is more to the story.
· Critical thinkers are lifelong learners. They never cease to look for ways to improve things and always want to learn more about everything.
I challenge you to look at your own critical thinking skills and see how you can further develop them. One of the best ways to practice is to slow down your response to things for a while. If you’re always one of the first to respond in a conversation, wait a few moments and let someone else talk. See what you can learn from being quiet a little longer! It’s hard, but well worth it. And if you’re usually the one who sits back and later wishes you had said something, be the first to ask a clarifying question.
Here’s a great tool to stretch your critical thinking muscle: Every time you hear gossip or read a forwarded e-mail about someone or something that is “juicy,” resist the urge to pass it along. Instead, make a conscious effort to say out loud, “Is it likely that this is really true?” Then play reporter and do whatever research you can to verify what is fact. Then and only then can you critically evaluate whether it is beneficial to anyone to pass it along.
Critical thinking is one of the most useful skills you can possess in your family life, relationships or career. It is the skill that will keep you from saying things you later regret, making costly mistakes or hurting people unnecessarily. Practice!
September 05, 2008
How to Cast a Wide Net in Your Job Search
When clients are just beginning a job search, I frequently tell them to "cast a wide net." This actually has a double meaning. First, it means to use all of your available resources to get the word out that you are looking for new opportunities; including friends, current and former colleagues, family members, old college chums, people with whom you have volunteered for worthy causes, and anyone else who is appropriate. For some clients who are contemplating making a leap into a new, unrelated career, it also means devising different versions of your resume and circulating it to varying types of employers.
In these days of online job search sites and the overwhelming number of social and networking sites (LinkedIn, Twitter, FaceBook, MySpace, UTube, and the new Twitter of business networking, Twellow) I often get asked what works and what doesn't.
I have had clients get lots of interviews through online job search sites, some leading to employment. It is important to pick and choose which sites you use according to your career, as some are too generalized to find a place you can "fit." The big ones are great if you can easily fit into the common categories such as Accounting, Finance, Marketing, Law, etc. Often if you are a member of a professional association for whatever-you-do they will have a job search service in that field. Definitely pursue those avenues.
But beyond that, do you post a profile on all of the other networking sites and/or do you create a web site resume?
I will give my opinions in a minute, but here is a request: I am currently writing an online career coaching course and I would love to have lots of input on this topic. I have opinions but am open to having them changed. If you have recently undertaken a job search and have either created a resume web site or used networking sites, I would like to hear about your experience. Did it impact your job search either positively or negatively? What would you do the same next time and what would you change? Post your answers in the comments section at the end of this blog.
O.K., here are my opinions. First, the use of networking sites. I think they may be useful if you are in an industry that commonly uses them. Maybe. If your circle of colleagues are all on LinkedIn, then by all means add your profile. I have been on LinkedIn for a few years now and cannot attribute any new business to that, but certainly don't think it hurts and it doesn't cost anything! And I have heard that it can be very successful for those in closely connected professional communities.
I am not a fan of using social networking sites for a career search because my own feeling is that it instantly decreases the perceived level of professionalism. If I were a prospective employer and a candidate told me I could find their profile on FaceBook or My Space, I would hesitate and potentially not even look. I don't think that is a common practice, but if you're thinking about it I would encourage you to try a more mainstream approach first. I'm even hesitant about Twellow, the new "professional" version of Twitter. The site is organized by categories of professions which is nice, but when I have clicked on a category it takes me to a page where the profiles include a picture, one or two sentences of a professional profile, and (here's the downside) the latest comments posted to that profile which are almost always quippy comments from Twitter. So, my overall opinion is go ahead and put your profile on a professional networking site like LinkedIn or similar because it really can't hurt; avoid the social sites as you may appear unprofessional.
Next, do you create a resume web site? Again, it doesn't hurt. When you send a resume to an employer you can give them the link to your online resume instead of an attachment. Or if you are networking in your circle you can do the same thing and it may make it easier when networking in person to say, "If you would like to see my resume it is online at JohnSmith.com." There are some important rules to posting an HTML resume though; don't get carried away with the graphics (it should look like it would on white bond paper and be very organized and readable), use easy-to-read fonts, don't underline words because they will look like hyperlinks, and don't used patterned or colored backgrounds. Also, do keep a word processing file version regardless, because you will use it.
Again, if you have experience with using online networks in your job search or having a web resume, I would like to hear about it. Post those comments!
In these days of online job search sites and the overwhelming number of social and networking sites (LinkedIn, Twitter, FaceBook, MySpace, UTube, and the new Twitter of business networking, Twellow) I often get asked what works and what doesn't.
I have had clients get lots of interviews through online job search sites, some leading to employment. It is important to pick and choose which sites you use according to your career, as some are too generalized to find a place you can "fit." The big ones are great if you can easily fit into the common categories such as Accounting, Finance, Marketing, Law, etc. Often if you are a member of a professional association for whatever-you-do they will have a job search service in that field. Definitely pursue those avenues.
But beyond that, do you post a profile on all of the other networking sites and/or do you create a web site resume?
I will give my opinions in a minute, but here is a request: I am currently writing an online career coaching course and I would love to have lots of input on this topic. I have opinions but am open to having them changed. If you have recently undertaken a job search and have either created a resume web site or used networking sites, I would like to hear about your experience. Did it impact your job search either positively or negatively? What would you do the same next time and what would you change? Post your answers in the comments section at the end of this blog.
O.K., here are my opinions. First, the use of networking sites. I think they may be useful if you are in an industry that commonly uses them. Maybe. If your circle of colleagues are all on LinkedIn, then by all means add your profile. I have been on LinkedIn for a few years now and cannot attribute any new business to that, but certainly don't think it hurts and it doesn't cost anything! And I have heard that it can be very successful for those in closely connected professional communities.
I am not a fan of using social networking sites for a career search because my own feeling is that it instantly decreases the perceived level of professionalism. If I were a prospective employer and a candidate told me I could find their profile on FaceBook or My Space, I would hesitate and potentially not even look. I don't think that is a common practice, but if you're thinking about it I would encourage you to try a more mainstream approach first. I'm even hesitant about Twellow, the new "professional" version of Twitter. The site is organized by categories of professions which is nice, but when I have clicked on a category it takes me to a page where the profiles include a picture, one or two sentences of a professional profile, and (here's the downside) the latest comments posted to that profile which are almost always quippy comments from Twitter. So, my overall opinion is go ahead and put your profile on a professional networking site like LinkedIn or similar because it really can't hurt; avoid the social sites as you may appear unprofessional.
Next, do you create a resume web site? Again, it doesn't hurt. When you send a resume to an employer you can give them the link to your online resume instead of an attachment. Or if you are networking in your circle you can do the same thing and it may make it easier when networking in person to say, "If you would like to see my resume it is online at JohnSmith.com." There are some important rules to posting an HTML resume though; don't get carried away with the graphics (it should look like it would on white bond paper and be very organized and readable), use easy-to-read fonts, don't underline words because they will look like hyperlinks, and don't used patterned or colored backgrounds. Also, do keep a word processing file version regardless, because you will use it.
Again, if you have experience with using online networks in your job search or having a web resume, I would like to hear about it. Post those comments!
July 08, 2008
Tomorrow's Life-Changing Experience
No, I don't have anything big or dramatic planned for tomorrow. If I knew it wouldn't bore you to pieces, I would have titled this post "Yesterday was a life-changing experience, today is a life-changing experience, and tomorrow will also be a life-changing experience. What will you do to make it count?"
Recently I have heard the phrase "It was a life-changing experience" with unusual frequency. And it's true, we have all had those experiences that completely altered the way we looked at certain things forever. I can think of several right away: The first time I visited Italy; the day I got married; the days I found out each of my parents had terminal cancer; the day I gave birth to my daughter. All undeniably life-altering.
But life isn't static, even if you sometimes feel like you're living Groundhog Day (in case you didn't see the movie, it means living the same day over and over). I would argue that each and every day is life-changing, if only for the simple fact that you are one day older and one more day is behind you. Changes like that are almost imperceptible, yet stack them up into years and you begin questioning "How did I get from there to here?"
A really neat thing I get to experience with clients is to see this principle begin producing positive results almost immediately. Often clients initially contact me because they feel stuck. They have some great goals and dreams, but don't feel any closer to making them happen. One reason for feeling stuck is that we sometimes view our life as one big unit rather than lots and lots and lots of choices, days, and events. And if our life unit is currently unfulfilling, it is easy to get overwhelmed by trying to fix the whole thing at once. Part of coaching is to break the dreams down into achievable pieces each week and move forward so that you get unstuck and on your way. This often begins to happen fairly quickly, in a matter of days or weeks.
My encouragement to you is to stop waiting for life-changing experiences and start viewing each day as a life-changing event. What will you become today? Whose life will you change by walking through? What single choice or decision can you make today that puts you one step further to becoming what you want to become?
If you're feeling stuck and having trouble finding the steps out and up, please call me. We can begin making each day a life-bettering experience for you.
Recently I have heard the phrase "It was a life-changing experience" with unusual frequency. And it's true, we have all had those experiences that completely altered the way we looked at certain things forever. I can think of several right away: The first time I visited Italy; the day I got married; the days I found out each of my parents had terminal cancer; the day I gave birth to my daughter. All undeniably life-altering.
But life isn't static, even if you sometimes feel like you're living Groundhog Day (in case you didn't see the movie, it means living the same day over and over). I would argue that each and every day is life-changing, if only for the simple fact that you are one day older and one more day is behind you. Changes like that are almost imperceptible, yet stack them up into years and you begin questioning "How did I get from there to here?"
A really neat thing I get to experience with clients is to see this principle begin producing positive results almost immediately. Often clients initially contact me because they feel stuck. They have some great goals and dreams, but don't feel any closer to making them happen. One reason for feeling stuck is that we sometimes view our life as one big unit rather than lots and lots and lots of choices, days, and events. And if our life unit is currently unfulfilling, it is easy to get overwhelmed by trying to fix the whole thing at once. Part of coaching is to break the dreams down into achievable pieces each week and move forward so that you get unstuck and on your way. This often begins to happen fairly quickly, in a matter of days or weeks.
My encouragement to you is to stop waiting for life-changing experiences and start viewing each day as a life-changing event. What will you become today? Whose life will you change by walking through? What single choice or decision can you make today that puts you one step further to becoming what you want to become?
If you're feeling stuck and having trouble finding the steps out and up, please call me. We can begin making each day a life-bettering experience for you.
June 11, 2008
Why Do You Put Up with Stuff?
Once a week I sort through the spam that has been filtered through my web e-mail server. It’s a nuisance, but for every 50 or so spam messages, there will be one legitimate business inquiry that gets filtered for one reason or another that I don’t want to overlook. So I slog through the rude and the ridiculous (put up with it, in other words) to make sure I don’t miss the pearl opportunity that got buried in the mess.
Often when clients begin working with me as their coach, they get a little frustrated after the first couple of sessions because we haven’t yet made the big breakthrough for which they had hoped. Instead, we may still be sorting through a lot of background information, collecting pieces of the puzzle before seeing a bigger picture. Then, sooner for some than for others, things start clicking and the “ah-hah’s” start coming to them.
The point is, it is rare that you discover great things without sorting through some junk. My job is to help you sort through it more quickly and with more precision than you would on your own. If your life isn’t quite what you want right now, or your career isn’t providing the income or the fulfillment that you wanted, maybe it’s time to sort through some stuff and figure out why you’re putting up with what you don’t want and see what positive steps you can take today to begin making it much, much better.
What are some of the things worth taking a look at in your life?
· Your environment. Is it peaceful and useful, or is it cluttered and distracting?
· Your family. Is the time you spend with family members pleasant and refreshing, or tense and draining?
· Your friends. Is there a mutual support system there, or is one of you getting most of the benefit from the relationship?
· Your finances. Times are getting challenging – are you prepared? Are there habits you need to change?
· Your physical health. Do you take care of yourself; get plenty of rest, exercise, nutrition?
· Your real needs and priorities. Do you multi-task all the time, never really finishing anything or are you able to live in and enjoy the present?
If you answered these questions negatively or maybe even laughed when looking at the list, how about trying a different approach? I invite you to look at my Life Upgrade e-course which looks very closely at these issues and several more and provides exercises to help you sort through the junk and devise more effective ways of living. Better yet, stop thinking about how to make your life better and start making it better. Call me or drop me a note and let’s set up a complimentary phone consultation to see what you can do, right away!
Often when clients begin working with me as their coach, they get a little frustrated after the first couple of sessions because we haven’t yet made the big breakthrough for which they had hoped. Instead, we may still be sorting through a lot of background information, collecting pieces of the puzzle before seeing a bigger picture. Then, sooner for some than for others, things start clicking and the “ah-hah’s” start coming to them.
The point is, it is rare that you discover great things without sorting through some junk. My job is to help you sort through it more quickly and with more precision than you would on your own. If your life isn’t quite what you want right now, or your career isn’t providing the income or the fulfillment that you wanted, maybe it’s time to sort through some stuff and figure out why you’re putting up with what you don’t want and see what positive steps you can take today to begin making it much, much better.
What are some of the things worth taking a look at in your life?
· Your environment. Is it peaceful and useful, or is it cluttered and distracting?
· Your family. Is the time you spend with family members pleasant and refreshing, or tense and draining?
· Your friends. Is there a mutual support system there, or is one of you getting most of the benefit from the relationship?
· Your finances. Times are getting challenging – are you prepared? Are there habits you need to change?
· Your physical health. Do you take care of yourself; get plenty of rest, exercise, nutrition?
· Your real needs and priorities. Do you multi-task all the time, never really finishing anything or are you able to live in and enjoy the present?
If you answered these questions negatively or maybe even laughed when looking at the list, how about trying a different approach? I invite you to look at my Life Upgrade e-course which looks very closely at these issues and several more and provides exercises to help you sort through the junk and devise more effective ways of living. Better yet, stop thinking about how to make your life better and start making it better. Call me or drop me a note and let’s set up a complimentary phone consultation to see what you can do, right away!
May 06, 2008
Recession-Proof Your Attitude
It’s an election year in the states and the economy is questionable, at best. Politicians are presenting bleak pictures or rosy ones, depending on what best serves their goals. Realistically though, the only outlook over which you have any control is your own.
I’ve talked with individuals living in abundance who are worried about losing their wealth, and others in scarcity who choose simply not to worry about it. Which of those is the safer attitude? Tough call, but here are some suggestions for keeping mental balance during economic uncertainty:
· Pay extra attention to your community of support. Give extra care to all important relationships as this will be what sustains you through uneven times. If there are family members or friends with whom you have lost touch, reconnect. They may need you! And if you find yourself ousted out of a once-promising career, this is the first and best place to seek support and connection.
· Adjust your lifestyle for a while. Give up unnecessary luxuries and pay attention to the things you miss and the things you don’t. You will probably find that your life doesn’t change much without certain trappings of wealth.
· If you feel uncertain about the security of your current job, get busy now on your Plan B. If you were to lose your job today, do you have a current resume? Do you know who you would call first to begin looking for a new one? Do you have money tucked away to bridge the gap? Get all of these things into place as if you needed them today, and you will be much better prepared should that dreaded day come.
· If you’re in a difficult career situation but can’t afford to make a change right now, make it better. Find a better way to communicate with a difficult boss; look at how you can make a tough schedule easier; make adjustments in your personal time to better care for yourself so that work doesn’t drain you; create a plan for the future so that you feel that you’re working toward something more fulfilling.
· Just be great, no matter what the circumstances. If you’re the one who remains positive, you will attract a lot more positive people and events into your life.
· Spend a lot more time with people whose company you enjoy. This isn’t the time to be around doomsday thinkers – they can bring you down very quickly. If you’re going to be positive through challenging times, then you want to be around others who maintain the same attitude.
· Reflect on your core values and prioritize accordingly. When you sift down to what really matters and spend your time and energy there, stressful thoughts and circumstances have a way of diminishing. It might even help to make a list of your most important spiritual, emotional, mental and physical values and place it where you will see it often.
Let’s face it – life has ups and downs and you have to adjust or go crazy! But the most successful adjustments are the ones that you can make in your mind. Then positive actions and good things can follow.
I’ve talked with individuals living in abundance who are worried about losing their wealth, and others in scarcity who choose simply not to worry about it. Which of those is the safer attitude? Tough call, but here are some suggestions for keeping mental balance during economic uncertainty:
· Pay extra attention to your community of support. Give extra care to all important relationships as this will be what sustains you through uneven times. If there are family members or friends with whom you have lost touch, reconnect. They may need you! And if you find yourself ousted out of a once-promising career, this is the first and best place to seek support and connection.
· Adjust your lifestyle for a while. Give up unnecessary luxuries and pay attention to the things you miss and the things you don’t. You will probably find that your life doesn’t change much without certain trappings of wealth.
· If you feel uncertain about the security of your current job, get busy now on your Plan B. If you were to lose your job today, do you have a current resume? Do you know who you would call first to begin looking for a new one? Do you have money tucked away to bridge the gap? Get all of these things into place as if you needed them today, and you will be much better prepared should that dreaded day come.
· If you’re in a difficult career situation but can’t afford to make a change right now, make it better. Find a better way to communicate with a difficult boss; look at how you can make a tough schedule easier; make adjustments in your personal time to better care for yourself so that work doesn’t drain you; create a plan for the future so that you feel that you’re working toward something more fulfilling.
· Just be great, no matter what the circumstances. If you’re the one who remains positive, you will attract a lot more positive people and events into your life.
· Spend a lot more time with people whose company you enjoy. This isn’t the time to be around doomsday thinkers – they can bring you down very quickly. If you’re going to be positive through challenging times, then you want to be around others who maintain the same attitude.
· Reflect on your core values and prioritize accordingly. When you sift down to what really matters and spend your time and energy there, stressful thoughts and circumstances have a way of diminishing. It might even help to make a list of your most important spiritual, emotional, mental and physical values and place it where you will see it often.
Let’s face it – life has ups and downs and you have to adjust or go crazy! But the most successful adjustments are the ones that you can make in your mind. Then positive actions and good things can follow.
February 26, 2008
Ten Reasons Not to Quit Your Career Yet
You’ve been thinking about making a career move but keep wondering if it’s the right time, the right decision, the right direction. There are often many valid, wise decisions for taking a risk to gain something better. There are also reasons that it might be a bad choice, at least at the present moment. Here are ten reasons NOT to make that move right now:
1. You can’t financially afford it. No matter what move you’re considering, it won’t work if you can’t pay the bills. It’s much wiser to a) have at least six months to a year’s worth of income tucked away before making any big moves and b) make a move to something that will pay at least as much as you currently make or more!
2. You’re frustrated by a situation at work and just want out! This can be a very good reason for changing your job or career, but often isn’t reason enough. First, look at your current job overall. Do you like the company? The culture? Is the industry doing well right now? Does your future there feel secure except for this one thing? If the answer to all of these questions is yes and there is really just one circumstance or person that is bugging you, then look at every possible way you could solve this issue. Can you make an attitude adjustment? Is there a conversation you’ve been avoiding that would address the issue? Can you make a change in your physical environment that would help? Problems can have a way of following you from position to position if you don’t address them effectively. Try solving them before bailing out.
3. You’re less than two years from becoming vested in your retirement fund (or other important benefit). If you have worked hard for long-term benefits, don’t throw them away at this point. I once had a client who was a university faculty member, and though she was extremely frustrated with academia, if she stayed a few more years she would then receive life-long health care insurance. Instead of sacrificing security, bide your time and use this opportunity to formulate plans for your next move while still being paid!
4. There is something else in your life that you’re not dealing with. Often when things aren’t going the way you would like, your job seems like the easiest thing to change. While that may be true, you may just find yourself in a new job with the same old problems. If things in your personal life aren’t going well and it isn’t at all because of your current employment situation it is better to deal with what is really going on than to disrupt your work life.
5. You don’t have a stable work history. Granted, there are industries and careers where frequent change for advancement is not unusual. However, if you have a history of frequent job changes, think twice. A CEO client I know once referred to the “two year resume” which he immediately discarded from the potential candidates stack because of perceived instability. Unless you have been offered an opportunity that is too good to turn down, stay where you are and build credibility.
6. Changing just because you are “bored.” If you have felt restless and unmotivated for a long time and have exhausted every way to turn this around, then change is due. But if this is something relatively new and there is opportunity to improve your situation where you are, try that first. Boredom tends to be a personality trait and if you are someone who easily becomes bored, it is important to identify what you need from a career to prevent boredom before launching into a new one or you will find yourself in the same situation all over again.
7. You don’t have a plan. Giving up a career that pays and sustains you without having a new plan will rarely have a positive result. If you have invested time, education and sweat equity into your current career and now want to make a sweeping change, that is o.k., but don’t act impulsively. Make a plan and be sure that every step you take moves you forward within that plan.
8. Your move will adversely affect those whom you support. If you are the primary breadwinner in your household, the financial implications of a career change are obviously critical. It goes with reason number one. What about the emotional impact of a big change? Will it require a geographic move and will it be positive? Will there be financial adjustments that affect everyone? If your move requires great sacrifices on the part of other members of the household, be sure that the long-term benefit will outweigh the temporary discomfort. If not, then don’t make the move right now.
9. You don’t yet possess the skills or education to pursue your dream. This one seems fairly obvious, yet we have all seen people give up everything to pursue a dream for which they really aren’t well qualified. If further education or experience are necessary and you are set on a particular dream, then stay where you are and get the education on your own time. To get experience you can moonlight or volunteer for a related project. You don’t have to give up the dream, but you may need to postpone it while you gather the tools.
10. You’re in a career that doesn’t allow you to return once you make your exit. There are many careers (healthcare, law, education, technology) that require continuing education throughout the duration of your career. If you quit even temporarily it may be next to impossible to return to the field if you haven’t kept up with industry developments. If you’re not crystal clear about whether or not you want may want to return to this career one day, give it some more time. Find a way to evaluate other options while you stay involved in this career – work with a coach, reduce your current workload to part-time, volunteer in areas related to your other interests, get another job and moonlight in this field. Do what it takes to make this decision from an informed perspective.
There are often compelling reasons to make a big career change, or even make a lateral move within your current career. But there may also be strong reasons why it may not be right for you right now. If this isn’t the right time for you, continue where you are and use personal time to build toward a great move in the future. Just do what is necessary to keep moving forward in a positive way.
1. You can’t financially afford it. No matter what move you’re considering, it won’t work if you can’t pay the bills. It’s much wiser to a) have at least six months to a year’s worth of income tucked away before making any big moves and b) make a move to something that will pay at least as much as you currently make or more!
2. You’re frustrated by a situation at work and just want out! This can be a very good reason for changing your job or career, but often isn’t reason enough. First, look at your current job overall. Do you like the company? The culture? Is the industry doing well right now? Does your future there feel secure except for this one thing? If the answer to all of these questions is yes and there is really just one circumstance or person that is bugging you, then look at every possible way you could solve this issue. Can you make an attitude adjustment? Is there a conversation you’ve been avoiding that would address the issue? Can you make a change in your physical environment that would help? Problems can have a way of following you from position to position if you don’t address them effectively. Try solving them before bailing out.
3. You’re less than two years from becoming vested in your retirement fund (or other important benefit). If you have worked hard for long-term benefits, don’t throw them away at this point. I once had a client who was a university faculty member, and though she was extremely frustrated with academia, if she stayed a few more years she would then receive life-long health care insurance. Instead of sacrificing security, bide your time and use this opportunity to formulate plans for your next move while still being paid!
4. There is something else in your life that you’re not dealing with. Often when things aren’t going the way you would like, your job seems like the easiest thing to change. While that may be true, you may just find yourself in a new job with the same old problems. If things in your personal life aren’t going well and it isn’t at all because of your current employment situation it is better to deal with what is really going on than to disrupt your work life.
5. You don’t have a stable work history. Granted, there are industries and careers where frequent change for advancement is not unusual. However, if you have a history of frequent job changes, think twice. A CEO client I know once referred to the “two year resume” which he immediately discarded from the potential candidates stack because of perceived instability. Unless you have been offered an opportunity that is too good to turn down, stay where you are and build credibility.
6. Changing just because you are “bored.” If you have felt restless and unmotivated for a long time and have exhausted every way to turn this around, then change is due. But if this is something relatively new and there is opportunity to improve your situation where you are, try that first. Boredom tends to be a personality trait and if you are someone who easily becomes bored, it is important to identify what you need from a career to prevent boredom before launching into a new one or you will find yourself in the same situation all over again.
7. You don’t have a plan. Giving up a career that pays and sustains you without having a new plan will rarely have a positive result. If you have invested time, education and sweat equity into your current career and now want to make a sweeping change, that is o.k., but don’t act impulsively. Make a plan and be sure that every step you take moves you forward within that plan.
8. Your move will adversely affect those whom you support. If you are the primary breadwinner in your household, the financial implications of a career change are obviously critical. It goes with reason number one. What about the emotional impact of a big change? Will it require a geographic move and will it be positive? Will there be financial adjustments that affect everyone? If your move requires great sacrifices on the part of other members of the household, be sure that the long-term benefit will outweigh the temporary discomfort. If not, then don’t make the move right now.
9. You don’t yet possess the skills or education to pursue your dream. This one seems fairly obvious, yet we have all seen people give up everything to pursue a dream for which they really aren’t well qualified. If further education or experience are necessary and you are set on a particular dream, then stay where you are and get the education on your own time. To get experience you can moonlight or volunteer for a related project. You don’t have to give up the dream, but you may need to postpone it while you gather the tools.
10. You’re in a career that doesn’t allow you to return once you make your exit. There are many careers (healthcare, law, education, technology) that require continuing education throughout the duration of your career. If you quit even temporarily it may be next to impossible to return to the field if you haven’t kept up with industry developments. If you’re not crystal clear about whether or not you want may want to return to this career one day, give it some more time. Find a way to evaluate other options while you stay involved in this career – work with a coach, reduce your current workload to part-time, volunteer in areas related to your other interests, get another job and moonlight in this field. Do what it takes to make this decision from an informed perspective.
There are often compelling reasons to make a big career change, or even make a lateral move within your current career. But there may also be strong reasons why it may not be right for you right now. If this isn’t the right time for you, continue where you are and use personal time to build toward a great move in the future. Just do what is necessary to keep moving forward in a positive way.
January 22, 2008
Accept, Adjust and Get On With It!
Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment. -- Ralph Marston
It's finally here. The fourth week of January. We can stop talking and hearing about resolutions, the crowds at the gym begin tapering off, and the weight loss segments on the news are finally over. Another week or so and the HUGE SALE ENDS NOW junk e-mail will come to an end as well! What a great time to return to accepting ourselves as we are.
That's right. If you made resolutions that have already fizzled, here's a new idea. How about accepting that what is, is. Your career isn't what or where you had hoped it would be right now. The economy is taking some heavy hits of late. You weigh a little extra or aren't as fit as you would like. Your family is in more turmoil than you ever dreamed possible. You don't have a lot of energy. O.K., so then what?
As a coach, one thing I encourage clients to do is to look truthfully at their current situation. Most of the time when clients call me it is because they have exhausted themselves with mental gymnastics, looking at what they "should" do, trying to reconcile what they want to do with what they are currently doing, or wishing for something that they can't yet articulate. By the time they call me, they are often self-critical for not having made more progress on their own.
One of the most liberating first steps in the process of moving forward in a positive way is to accept what is going on right now. You may long for a more fulfilling career, but haven't found the energy to pursue it or don't have the finances to make a leap. What if you just accepted the fact that maybe now isn't the right time. Period. How would that feel? Would it be a relief to stop worrying for a period of time, until you're in a better position to strategize and act? And at the same time, by accepting what is, you can make adjustments to make it better.
Acceptance keeps you in the present. And when you're living in the present, you're much more likely to make better decisions for your future. If you don't accept your circumstances and see them truthfully, then you're less likely to improve the situation. If you do accept what is, you can look at it objectively and sort out what is working and what isn't.
Let's say you've gotten really out of shape in the last two years. Before you storm around, complain about it and swear that you're going to start working out six days a week, eat less and cut out caffiene cold turkey, look at what is going on now. Maybe you've gotten out of shape because you work 80+ hours a week, have a family who needs you as soon as you get home, travel constantly, and/or volunteer for a worthwhile cause near and dear to your heart. Maybe this would be a good time to simply accept that none of that will change any time soon, so your good intentions truthfully are not going to happen. It would be easier to accept that being body-builder fit would require full-time discipline and devotion, neither of which you can give. By accepting your body as it is and accepting your schedule limitations, you can instead decide what improvements you could realistically incorporate into your daily life right now that would improve your fitness and energy levels, which is all you really wanted in the first place.
By not accepting what is, you deny yourself the opportunity to make real, manageable improvements in your life right now. It is far better to accept what is, make realistic adjustments, and get on with a better life now than wait and wish for something in the distant future, don't you think?
If mental gymnastics are weighing you down and you can't seem to get on with it, I invite you to contact me for a free consultation. I'd like to help you get unstuck!
It's finally here. The fourth week of January. We can stop talking and hearing about resolutions, the crowds at the gym begin tapering off, and the weight loss segments on the news are finally over. Another week or so and the HUGE SALE ENDS NOW junk e-mail will come to an end as well! What a great time to return to accepting ourselves as we are.
That's right. If you made resolutions that have already fizzled, here's a new idea. How about accepting that what is, is. Your career isn't what or where you had hoped it would be right now. The economy is taking some heavy hits of late. You weigh a little extra or aren't as fit as you would like. Your family is in more turmoil than you ever dreamed possible. You don't have a lot of energy. O.K., so then what?
As a coach, one thing I encourage clients to do is to look truthfully at their current situation. Most of the time when clients call me it is because they have exhausted themselves with mental gymnastics, looking at what they "should" do, trying to reconcile what they want to do with what they are currently doing, or wishing for something that they can't yet articulate. By the time they call me, they are often self-critical for not having made more progress on their own.
One of the most liberating first steps in the process of moving forward in a positive way is to accept what is going on right now. You may long for a more fulfilling career, but haven't found the energy to pursue it or don't have the finances to make a leap. What if you just accepted the fact that maybe now isn't the right time. Period. How would that feel? Would it be a relief to stop worrying for a period of time, until you're in a better position to strategize and act? And at the same time, by accepting what is, you can make adjustments to make it better.
Acceptance keeps you in the present. And when you're living in the present, you're much more likely to make better decisions for your future. If you don't accept your circumstances and see them truthfully, then you're less likely to improve the situation. If you do accept what is, you can look at it objectively and sort out what is working and what isn't.
Let's say you've gotten really out of shape in the last two years. Before you storm around, complain about it and swear that you're going to start working out six days a week, eat less and cut out caffiene cold turkey, look at what is going on now. Maybe you've gotten out of shape because you work 80+ hours a week, have a family who needs you as soon as you get home, travel constantly, and/or volunteer for a worthwhile cause near and dear to your heart. Maybe this would be a good time to simply accept that none of that will change any time soon, so your good intentions truthfully are not going to happen. It would be easier to accept that being body-builder fit would require full-time discipline and devotion, neither of which you can give. By accepting your body as it is and accepting your schedule limitations, you can instead decide what improvements you could realistically incorporate into your daily life right now that would improve your fitness and energy levels, which is all you really wanted in the first place.
By not accepting what is, you deny yourself the opportunity to make real, manageable improvements in your life right now. It is far better to accept what is, make realistic adjustments, and get on with a better life now than wait and wish for something in the distant future, don't you think?
If mental gymnastics are weighing you down and you can't seem to get on with it, I invite you to contact me for a free consultation. I'd like to help you get unstuck!
December 28, 2007
Let Inspiration Find You This New Year
This week we celebrated Christmas at our house. It was great! We enjoyed several house guests and lots of good food, attended a Christmas Eve service with family and dear friends at a neighborhood church, and showered our almost-four-year-old with lots and lots of new toys. It was wonderful, we're tired, and today I spent a few hours putting away all the Christmas decorations for another year.
There is something about this week every year that really gets me going. I confess that I begin getting a little unmotivated around Thanksgiving and it goes downhill from there. By the week of Christmas I am usually pretty absent-minded and just trying to get everything finished before THE DEADLINE: Christmas Day. It struck me the other day that Christmas is somewhat like planning a wedding, but instead of once in a lifetime it occurs once a year! We shop, send cards, bake (yes, I did much more of that this year and took goodies to neighbors, etc.), shop some more, sneak around so the surprise won't be ruined, assemble family and friends that we may not see any other time and put on our best faces! And much like a wedding, once the big day is over, it's all over! You then wonder why you worked so hard and stressed so much for such a short event!
But guess what? Next year most of us will do it all over again. And for me, this is the exact week that magic happens. I have a few days to ponder the new year and set goals and dream big. Most years, this is the exact time - that time in between two big holidays - that big ideas arise and the possibilities seem endless. The rush of holidays is over and the old energy starts to come back.
As you make big (or small, or simply new) plans for the coming year, I encourage you to take this next week to see what comes to you. Instead of forcing ideas, wait for them. When you wake up the next few mornings, spend the first five minutes of the day in prayer or meditation, asking for inspiration and focusing on positive possibilities. Be thankful for the new day and begin it with expectation. If you're facing big decisions about life or career in 2008, use this time to see what comes to you before jumping into anything.
Take this next week to restore your energy, practice gratitude, think positively and wait expectantly. If you're open and ready, the inspiration will come!
There is something about this week every year that really gets me going. I confess that I begin getting a little unmotivated around Thanksgiving and it goes downhill from there. By the week of Christmas I am usually pretty absent-minded and just trying to get everything finished before THE DEADLINE: Christmas Day. It struck me the other day that Christmas is somewhat like planning a wedding, but instead of once in a lifetime it occurs once a year! We shop, send cards, bake (yes, I did much more of that this year and took goodies to neighbors, etc.), shop some more, sneak around so the surprise won't be ruined, assemble family and friends that we may not see any other time and put on our best faces! And much like a wedding, once the big day is over, it's all over! You then wonder why you worked so hard and stressed so much for such a short event!
But guess what? Next year most of us will do it all over again. And for me, this is the exact week that magic happens. I have a few days to ponder the new year and set goals and dream big. Most years, this is the exact time - that time in between two big holidays - that big ideas arise and the possibilities seem endless. The rush of holidays is over and the old energy starts to come back.
As you make big (or small, or simply new) plans for the coming year, I encourage you to take this next week to see what comes to you. Instead of forcing ideas, wait for them. When you wake up the next few mornings, spend the first five minutes of the day in prayer or meditation, asking for inspiration and focusing on positive possibilities. Be thankful for the new day and begin it with expectation. If you're facing big decisions about life or career in 2008, use this time to see what comes to you before jumping into anything.
Take this next week to restore your energy, practice gratitude, think positively and wait expectantly. If you're open and ready, the inspiration will come!
November 13, 2007
Want to Feel Great? Make a "Great" List
We never know the worth of water 'til the well is dry. -- English Proverb
Some days you feel great, some you don’t, right? On the days you don’t feel great it may be due to a physical ailment, lack of sleep, and general feeling of blahness about your life. The first two are easy to correct: wait for the ailment to heal and go to bed earlier. (A fantastic idea, by the way!)
How do you get rid of the blahs and make yourself feel great, instantly?
Make a list of what is great in your life!
I was reminded of the abundance I enjoy recently when I saw a poverty-stricken father of five fall to his knees, cry and thank God when he was given a freezer full of food. It struck me not only because I have never known that kind of need, but more because of the gratitude this man exhibited over something I take for granted daily.
What is great in your life right now? Do you have income to buy necessities? Do you have even more than that? Do you enjoy great health? Do you have friends, family, a pet you love?
How is the weather where you are today? Is the sun shining (pretty miraculous that that happens every single day, even if we can’t see it!) or is rain providing needed water?
I know, I sound like a three-piece-suited preacher or a motivational speaker with big earrings. You may be reading this saying, “Blah, blah, blah, I’ve heard it all before Gwen!” Fair enough.
But think for a minute what it would be like if you didn’t have running water today (ever had your water heater quit?) or if you weren’t sure what you could eek out to feed your family for five days with no money?
If there is anything great in your life at all, write it down! Or make a mental list if writing isn’t your thing. If you can’t think of anything, start with the basics. Breathing. Walking and talking. Being free from physical pain. Build up from there – I know you can.
And if you are having a great life and know how not to take things for granted, kudos to you! Share your spirit of gratitude with some other people who aren’t feeling it so much! Give a gift to someone today without expecting anything back.
I challenge you today to just go out and think great, act great and BE great!
Warmest Regards,
Gwen
Some days you feel great, some you don’t, right? On the days you don’t feel great it may be due to a physical ailment, lack of sleep, and general feeling of blahness about your life. The first two are easy to correct: wait for the ailment to heal and go to bed earlier. (A fantastic idea, by the way!)
How do you get rid of the blahs and make yourself feel great, instantly?
Make a list of what is great in your life!
I was reminded of the abundance I enjoy recently when I saw a poverty-stricken father of five fall to his knees, cry and thank God when he was given a freezer full of food. It struck me not only because I have never known that kind of need, but more because of the gratitude this man exhibited over something I take for granted daily.
What is great in your life right now? Do you have income to buy necessities? Do you have even more than that? Do you enjoy great health? Do you have friends, family, a pet you love?
How is the weather where you are today? Is the sun shining (pretty miraculous that that happens every single day, even if we can’t see it!) or is rain providing needed water?
I know, I sound like a three-piece-suited preacher or a motivational speaker with big earrings. You may be reading this saying, “Blah, blah, blah, I’ve heard it all before Gwen!” Fair enough.
But think for a minute what it would be like if you didn’t have running water today (ever had your water heater quit?) or if you weren’t sure what you could eek out to feed your family for five days with no money?
If there is anything great in your life at all, write it down! Or make a mental list if writing isn’t your thing. If you can’t think of anything, start with the basics. Breathing. Walking and talking. Being free from physical pain. Build up from there – I know you can.
And if you are having a great life and know how not to take things for granted, kudos to you! Share your spirit of gratitude with some other people who aren’t feeling it so much! Give a gift to someone today without expecting anything back.
I challenge you today to just go out and think great, act great and BE great!
Warmest Regards,
Gwen
November 06, 2007
Rate Increase Effective January, 2008
Note to current and future clients: I will be increasing my monthly coaching fees in 2008 beginning on January 1. If you are a client now the new rates will not apply to you. The new rate of $350/month is only for clients beginning on January 1 or later. So if you have thought about scheduling a consultation but have put it off, now is the time! If you begin coaching with me before December 31, 2007 you will still receive the current rate of $300/month and that will be effective as long as you are a continuing client.
To schedule your complimentary consultation, e-mail me at consultation_coachgwen@tx.rr.com. I'll look forward to talking with you!
To schedule your complimentary consultation, e-mail me at consultation_coachgwen@tx.rr.com. I'll look forward to talking with you!
October 16, 2007
How Stressed Are You?
It’s like the flip of a switch. You go from a relaxed, I’ll-get-to-it-when-I-get-to-it summer mindset and then September 1 arrives and suddenly you’re hit with corporate deadlines, school projects and all the things that have to get done “before the holidays.” October rolls around and oh-my-gosh it’s almost the holiday season and we don’t have our plane tickets booked and we aren’t going to drive 800 miles so we’ll just spend Thanksgiving alone! November brings the anticipation of four days with relatives we never see at any other time, or worse, we don’t have any relatives so it’s just another holiday to get through. And so on and so on.
I noticed recently that a psychologist at the church I attend is offering a six-week series on surviving the holiday season. Does this tell us anything?
So how is your stress level right now? I ran across this quiz and think it is worth completing to see exactly where you are. Rank each statement on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 meaning less true for you, and 5 meaning very true for you. If you’re somewhere in the middle, mark it a 2, 3 or 4.
1. A close family member died in the past 12 months.
2. I moved to a new town in the past 12 months.
3. I changed jobs in the past 12 months.
4. My son/daughter left home in the past 12 months.
5. A close friend/family member who is ill depends on me for care.
6. I’ve had a major health problem in the past 12 months.
7. A close relationship ended in the past 12 months.
8. I lost my job or retired in the past 12 months.
9. I got married in the past 12 months.
10. I took on a lot of debt in the past 12 months.
11. I got divorced or separated in the past 12 months.
12. I lost a lot of money in the past 12 months.
13. I have ongoing marital problems.
14. I have ongoing intimacy problems.
15. I have ongoing financial problems.
16. I have ongoing trouble with friends or relatives.
17. I have ongoing problems meeting family demands.
18. I have ongoing pressure at work or school.
19. I have ongoing pressure with emotional problems.
20. I am constantly facing do-or-die deadlines.
Add up your total score. If your score is:
20-35 You’re virtually stress-free
36-50 You’re somewhat stressed
51-75 You are stressed. Watch out.
76-100 You are very stressed – reduce all pressures in your life or someone will be calling 911.
In working with clients, I’m often surprised by their denial or unawareness of the stress in their lives. They may mention four or five of the items listed above and when I say, “My goodness, you’re dealing with a lot,” they will say something like, “Yeah, I guess, but it’s not that bad.” Then later as they get past some of these things, they will then tell me what a huge relief it is.
So, here is what you do if you find yourself in the higher scores:
- Admit it. Stop pretending to be made of steel and own the fact that there are external pressures and you are entitled to feel it. In other words, give yourself a break!
- Look very specifically at the source of the stress and see where you can get outside help. That may come in the form of a therapist, a financial planner or a housekeeper, but identify it and get the help you need.
- Don’t take on more things. If you’re up to your eyeballs now, don’t volunteer to host a holiday party or lead the new company project.
- Take the time to grieve over what is lost.
- Spend time with people who love and support you. Avoid those who don’t.
Many stressors are not easily fixed, but some are. If you find that you are having trouble focusing, you’re irritable and tired all the time, or you want to spend a lot more time alone than usual, pay attention. It’s a good time to go over the top a little and practice some extreme self care. It isn’t selfish, it’s wise.
September 13, 2007
Pay the Bills While You Find Yourself
The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life. –Henry Ford
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. -- Robert Orben
Money. That pesky necessity. If we didn’t have to pay for food, clothing and shelter, career decisions would be simple, right? You could choose your career by what you want to wear: Ripped jeans and flip-flops or a suit with pockets full of electronic handhelds that scream “VIP ON BOARD!” You could drop in, drop out, experiment and dream to your heart’s content.
Often when clients call me ready to make a BIG move, one of the first issues we address is “Where will the money come from in the meantime?” Whether they are so burned out they want to quit, want to start their own business and live the dream of being The One In Charge, or have been outsourced or laid off by the company to whom they have devoted the best years of their life, the issue of paying the bills until they find “the next thing” must be addressed.
First, a general rule of thumb you read in many career books is to have at least six months’ living expenses tucked away. I personally wasn’t comfortable until that figure reached two years. Realistically, time passes very quickly when you are concerned about money. And the longer you are able to financially sustain yourself, the more time you can spend looking for a really great opportunity. So if you have the luxury of time and a steady income now, prepare ahead of time and prepare well. Tuck it away for that rainy day.
If you don’t have that luxury, (you have already taken the leap, you left involuntarily, you’re still employed but the days are numbered, etc.) take heart. There are always ways to make money. Here are some suggestions for doing just that. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but offers some real world, do-it-now ideas:
- Work temp or part-time. You can do this through temp agencies, professional organizations, your personal network, and any number of ways. It’s a great way to keep yourself in circulation and bridge the gap without feeling trapped.
- Use a hobby to make money. I know one IT professional who was laid off in the dot-com collapse and began using his handyman/contracting skills as a “temporary” solution. He got so much work so fast that he has never gone back to his former career. Look around at your social and business circles and see what common needs people have that you could immediately fill. Make a list of your best skills and look at what you could turn into cash within a month or two, then get the word out!
- Become a consultant. Use the skills that have taken you this far in your career. If appropriate, network with former colleagues or clients and offer your services independently.
- If you’re really burned out, work the jobs that college students fill in the summer. An upscale coffee shop where cool people hang out. A retail store where you have always wanted an employee discount. While I was on vacation in Colorado, one problem I saw was that many of the daily tours and activities had been curtailed because that week so many college students had just returned to school. High school and college students flood the job market in the summer and vanish in the fall. Capitalize on the opportunity!
Remember, you may have to think outside the box in this situation. You may need to consider the job (albeit temporarily) that you never thought you would take. Or you may need to start a business doing something you can do to make money quickly before you can start the one that you have always dreamed about. I am a firm believer that working and being productive is never a waste of time and can often lead to something great and unexpected! Remember, always MOVE FORWARD!
If you have other ideas or suggestions for temporary ways to earn a living, I would love to hear them. Post comments to this blog and share your ideas with other readers.
If you would like to craft your own personal life vision and get started on its path, give me a call. I would love to talk further with you about it during a free consultation. Just drop me a note and we will set up a time!
Warmest Regards,
Gwen
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